Shot In The Dark.

Alone, Tonight. (one-shot)

Eyes closed. A dark room. The floor cold.

Nothing registers, not the feeling of inherent coldness seeping into me. Not even the feeling of my heart shattering, over and over and over again.

I cannot think of anything else, right now, except how much I miss you.

It's not quite your eyes that glowed like city lights or the feel of your mouth on mine. It wasn't even your smile or the way you pressed feather-light kisses on my skin.

I missed, quite terribly, the way you held me at 2 AM. Even when you didn't have to. Even when I told you not to.

--

"Katie."

I turn, shifting until I could face you. Your hands still wrapped around my waist, you smile down at me.

I smile back, though almost reluctantly. "Yeah, Cole?"

You shake your head slowly and bury your head into my shoulder. I laugh lightly, pulling you closer to me.

"You mean the world to me," you breathe out.

I smile wider, if possible. I feel your heartbeat, the rise and fall of your chest, the steady rhythm of your breathing.

I feel you pressed up against me, alive and warm.

"And you mean the world to me," I whisper back.

"Forever?"

"Forever."

It was 2:37 and my thoughts were racing.

It was not quite nighttime yet not quite morning, and I had never felt so complex, yet so alive.

I felt the touch of your fingers tracing patterns on my wrist, their grace as carefully they tangled themselves with my own. We stood there in the dark, hands clasped and foreheads pressed together.

And my mind continued to race with thoughts darker than I would have liked, and it was as if you knew.

And though the tears started falling and sobs and whimpers escaped me, you held me tight and kept me safe.

Forever, we had promised. But no one told you promises were supposed to be kept.

--

Tonight was the first time I saw you in weeks, and you were happy. Finally happy.

She was beautiful, that girl I saw you with. And she made you happy. So happy.

So let's not pretend that tonight, I'm not sitting in the dark.

Let's not pretend anymore.

Tell me. Tell me you did the right thing. Tell me that you left to make me happy, too. Tell me it was for the both of us.

Be honest with me,

I know, I know. I know the burden. I know.

But I'm not strong enough, Cole.

You're gone and I'm still alive, I'm still breathing. But no one told me how to live without you. I'm alive, alive.

I don't know how to live without you.

You're miles and miles away, and my breath still catches every time I remember that tonight, you're not alone. Unlike me.

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Author's Note: That was by far the crappiest thing I have ever written but the need to write was getting ASDFLFJK so there. boohoo. Also, this was kind of based on the song Miserable At Best by Mayday Parade eh