But To Live Does Not Mean You're Alive (BoyxBoy)

Chapter Eighteen

How could I ever forget that night? That splendid night. I was not even convinced that English or any language for that matter could perfectly describe that moment. The night I had my first kiss. The kiss I never saw coming but never regretted doing. Words may be able to morph the closely best description but only I could precisely relive the warmth of such amazing moment. I let out a sigh as I stared out the window with the looks of fascination potent on my face.

I was day dreaming. Nonetheless enchanted. I felt like a unicorn soaring up in the sky, radiating rainbows off my horn. Brightening up the path I’ve taken. Not even the strongest storm could faze me.

It had been almost a week since that night. But every day I feel like it was just yesterday. He surely had his sorcery working on me perfectly. A small smile found its way to my face.

“Ahermm.” A voice rang out. It sounded really close.

Could it be?

Looking away from the window paradise, I met my last period teacher’s piercing, half-filled with anger look.

Great, the entire class is keeping up. I hated the obnoxious attention.

Can’t someone who’s been sad all his life be happy for once? I mentally grumbled.

“I’d greatly appreciate it Mr. Adam if you’d pay attention. Otherwise, you can get out!!” Declared the strict of a teacher. I flinched from his voice. I sunk deeper on my seat. My ship of confidence was slightly wobbled by a giant wave.

But as they say, all the water in the ocean cannot sink a ship unless it gets in. Likewise, all pressures in life can’t hurt you unless you let it in.  

“So-sorry.”

Such apologetic phrase spoken honestly ended the conversation or more likely confrontation. The teacher went back to the lesson, but not everyone followed his lead. I looked around. I immediately regretted such move.

Most, if not all of the class looked sufficiently pleased by what happened. They were probably like: Yay! The faggot got yelled at! The fairy got embarrassed! The cock sucker got humiliated! The teacher should have hit him instead! Let’s celebrate! Throw a party! Way to go to wrap up the day!

But as I said, not the even the strongest storm could faze me. Not when I’m thinking of him. I sighed. I should probably go consult a doctor about these persistent symptoms.

Symptoms for what? Some inner voice questioned.

I didn’t know. It’s halfway love I guess. What do you call that point? I did not trust my vocabulary for the labeling. But my heart was nonetheless certain anyway.

I turned to my notes, intending to listen up and regain concentration. I had never been in trouble with any teacher before. Well, besides from being brought to the office after being beaten by Connor and sometimes, Miguel, when he still used to. That was an awful past. Other than those, it was definitely the first.

But instead of being bothered by what just happened, I found myself taking another direction. I wasn’t even sure how I managed to let it happen. The sounds of the teacher’s eager voice to make the class understand what he was lecturing about seemed to be fading in the background. I wandered off, again.

I found nothing but scribbles and doddles on the last leaf of my note. Basically, I had my name sitting next to Miguel’s with some phrases like ‘broke off my shell’ ‘found love’ ‘new beginning’ ‘happiness’ and playfully drawn figures of hearts, lots of them. I thought only girls do such things.

I gently smiled, feeling somehow content. Butterflies were all over my stomach, fully aware that I had been getting such sensation more often.

Time passed by me obliviously, next thing I knew it was class dismissal. School’s finally over. I mentally rejoiced.