Lost Memories

Attempt.

Jade's

There was this weird night, i dreamed of althea, and it was not my usual dream for the last 6 months. My dream of her had always been a happy memories, not like this one, she was on the.. on our favorite place, staring blankly at the nightsky, I was looking at her, from the back crying, i was too late. She was talking to the stars above her, saying "i would have to let you go now." I woke up in dissapointment and regret. And tears in my eyes.

I don't want her to. And i know i'm being selfish again, i've did everything i can for her to forget me easily, but the real thing is that i never wanted her to forget me, ever. I was just feeling so bad, because i know it was all my stupid idea, to just escape and runaway from her. Thinking i'm doing the right thing, that i could save her, but i just put myself into a big damn messed up life. It felt like i killed my own heart, it felt suicide to have left her just that, for the last 6 months.

I just found myself the next day, realizing that i was already in the plane, going back to where i should be, and where i really belonged. "Am i too late althea?" I looked through the blank nightsky in the window beside me.

I didn't know exactly what am i doing. Eto nanaman ako, magtatapang tapangan. Tapos susuko nanaman? Tama nga bang bumalik na ko? Ano bang naghihintay sakin dun? Meron pa nga ba? Tama ba na sumugal ulit ako? That question have an answer, ofcourse because althea is all worth it. She had always been. So tama na sumugal ulit, kahit hindi ako sigurado kung may babalikan pa ko.

I'm actually scared, of what awaits me. But one things for sure, i still love her, so much. And It didn't changed, not even a bit. And if she still feel the same and wants me back, i swear i would do anything to keep it. I wouldn't leave her, not ever again. I'll make sure, that we'll be together until we're all wrinkled, and grey. Until we couldn't able to walk, or talk straight anymore, through sickness and health, through everything, until our last breath. All my days, all my nights i want it all with her. I would spend ten, or hundred more lifetimes with her if i was able to, because a single lifetime wouldn't be enough for her to realize how wonderful my life had been being with her in it, How i see the world had become more beautiful when she came along.

it wouldn't be enough for me to feel her, warm touch, to see her perfect smile, her astonishing eyes, her alluring body, i would need a thousand more years just looking at her. Just being with her. God, i just.. I'm just so madly and deeply, crazy inlove with althea.

I took a cab from the airport to dropped me off to althea's humble home, our home. When i got out of the cab, i took my one luggage out and head right to the gate, it was open and so i entered dragging my luggage, it was dark, no one seems to be home, there we're no lights turned on, and i realized that there were no toyota fortuner parked somewhere, so i thought althea wasn't home yet. I sat down at one of the stools, at our lanai's breakfast table. I missed this.

With my instinct going on, i then waited outside for a cab.

My heart beated so fast i couldn't breathe properly, as the elevator goes up. Hoping and praying she will be there, and we'll have a magical meet-again scene. I was being silly, and stupid i know. And i should be expecting she would be mad at me for leaving her 6 months ago, instead of thinking it would be just like in the movies or telenovelas.

And she was there, and my feet brought me here, i was right. She was looking at the stars above her, talking.

"Do you still think of me like i do all the time? Mahal pa rin kita jade, hindi naman nagbago yun. Eto oh, naghihintay pa rin ako. Umaasa na balikan mo na ko, na sana mahal mo pa rin ako."

Tears suddenly fell from eyes, as i heard those words, words that i've been wanting to hear for so long. I wanted to say, i always do. Every single moment that had past i think of her.