trigger warning for eating disorders
okay so I feel like I should be open with you guys since I've updated like 2 times already so over the past year or two I have been dealing with an eating disorder
I guess I've really been dealing with it since I was around 9 because that's when my body dysmorphia started
no I'm not in treatment
1) my mom doesn't know and I'm never going to tell her because she would judge me and say I'm faking and I don't think I can take that at this point
I know if I even mention it to her she will be completely angry with me and bitch about how I'm such a problem and I can't handle that and I know I need to get treatment because online free therapy isn't helping me and I just don't know how to fix myself alone but I can't be honest with my parents or I'll just have a breakdown and that never ends well
and sometimes I just feel like even if I told my parents or my friends they wouldn't really care because it's been going on for so long and they haven't noticed yet
I just feel so invisible
