City of Heavenly Fire (The Mortal Instruments Fan-fic)

Chapter 8: Darkness Returns

The group stared at the library floor, decorated with a complicated, beautiful image of the great angel Raziel rising from Lake Lyn. The silence in the room felt heavy, as if it were a tangible thing, blocking Clary's thoughts. Occassionally, someone would attempt at a conversation, only to falter at once under the hopeful, expectant gazes of everyone around them. 

Clary sat between Luke and her mother on the small couch, unmoving. It was almost noon out. Only just a few hours after the two of them had disappeared, leaving her. The group had left the station and travelled to the Institute together. Ever since then, they had simply been sitting. Waiting for a solution that wouldn't come.

The sun was shining, and no doubt various people were drifting through the street, without a damn care in the world. Clary hated those people. They were happy. They were laughing. How could anyone be like that when Jace and Simon were missing? Everyone called it that. Missing. She hated that word, but it was better than dead, or gone, stolen, lost. 

Magnus cleared his throat at the other end of the library in the Institute, where he was standing uncomfortably. He looked exhausted, his hair no longer spiky or glittery, falling in strings around his sunken face. "So, as I said before," he said awkwardly, "there is no trace of either one of them. The tracking just doesn't work. Either they are hidden in water, which I doubt, or Sebastian has discovered a way to foil my magic. I'm sorry, but there's not much more I can do for you."

Clary's ears buzzed, drowning out the rest of his words. Her eyes filled with blurry tears once more. She was surprised she still had some tears left in her, with all the crying she had done lately. Isabelle, Alec, Maryse, Magnus, Luke and Jocelyn were scattered around the room, heads bent. No one said a thing.

"Wait, so what, you're giving up now?" Clary asked forcefully after a pause, when no one else responded to the warlock.

He looked at her, his green cat eyes round and sympathetic. When he spoke, his voice was strained. "Clary, I didn't say that, it's just-"

"Just what?" Clary rose from the couch, her fists clenched tightly to stop them from shaking. "That you think they're dead and not worth looking for?" When he didn't answer, heat rose to her face, clouding her thoughts. So he really does think they're dead. That they're gone forever.

Jocelyn got up too, putting an arm around her shoulders, pulling her close. But Clary didn't want comfort. She wanted action. She wiped away her tears hastily, turning on Magnus.

"Well remember when Jace disappeared?" Her voice choked off as she thought of what had happened, only a bit more than a week ago. And now, she would have to go through the entire experience again? The thought was almost too much to bear. "Remember?" She asked again.

Everyone was staring at her, their eyes dull. But she wanted them to listen. She barreled on. "You all thought he was dead. Everyone gave up searching. But not me, I knew he was alive, and I know now that they are just waiting for us to save them. You don't know how much they mean to me! I love them and-"

"Clary! Everything is not always about you!" Alec exploded from nowhere, his voice uncharacteristically angry. His words were clipped off, drilling into Clary's ears. She whipped around, her eyes clouding again. "How do you think we all feel? You're not the only one in this!" 

Even Alec seemed surprised by his own words. Maryse covered her mouth with her hand, staring at her son. Magnus gasped silently, then looked away from Clary as if he couldn't bear the look of utter horror and shock she knew was written all across her ashen face. 

She heard Luke groan. After a pause, she turned on her heel and raced out the heavy wooden doors of the library, pushing them open so hard they swung wildly after her. Behind her, she heard Luke and Jocelyn say something, and she knew they were coming after her. Clary ran, her feet slipping from under her, her tears flowing freely.