Seeing Stars

Weak in the Knees

Weak in the Knees §

Arriving at the airport early; security reserves a private waiting room for us to wait in, looking famished from the sun and all the booze acquired, we flop ourselves wherever convenient acting exhausted. Everyone has their eyes closed trying to get a quick nap draped into the lounge chairs, or they're peering down into their phones. The only exception is HA, who waves his hand gaining my attention while jerking his head, gesturing to come with him out into the hall. Joining him in the hall, he directs me to a place outside anyone's eye-shot.

Watching HA scuff the bottom of his boots across the surface of the floor as his hands remain in his pockets, I find myself curious and ask, "What's up?"

He procrastinated answering me, as his demeanor reminds me of a high school boy wanting to ask a girl out on a date for the first time.

Patiently, I wait for him to speak; recognizing his discomfort, until eventually, he says, "I'm sorry if I haven't been as chipper as you may like."

"It's okay; I'm just hoping everything is alright with you?"I reply.

"It's not!", he declares while shaking his head as he squeezes his bottom lip with his fingers looking to the floor, indicating he wants to tell me more.

"What is it HA? You can trust to tell me, I promise you!" I stress.

Dropping his hand from his mouth he looks me in the eyes and says,
"I don't know how to tell you this without offending you or Z."

I gesture using my eyes to reassure him that whatever it is- 'it's okay to tell me'.

He cocks his head, stands up stiffly, and states; "I'm sorry to be so blunt with you, but I can't help but feel something when I'm with you."

Sensing I might be a little put off by his news, he says, "Can I assume you have an idea of what I'm talking about ... I mean it's not just me?"

Shocked and flattered at the same time, the only thing I can tell him is, "I think I know what you're talking about ...really HA? Honestly, I do feel it too; though, I can't act on my feelings and nor should you being I'm with Z."

He quickly grabs my hands in front of me and pulls them in together.

"I totally accept that Sta, and would never do anything to ruin what you and Z have with each other; for I really do love you both."

"We love you too HA, and that's why I think we should put this away and never speak of it for everyone's sake," I reply.

"I can't help what I've felt for you for ...hell, I can't even remember when I first had these feelings; I guess I'm good at suppressing them by keeping busy with other girls."He tells me as he brushes his hair from his forehead with his fingers.

I explain, "Maybe someday we can get to know each other better and explore those feelings, but as long as I have Z, it's not likely."

HA appears to wholeheartedly agree and tells me that he, "Admires how much Z and I are in love with each other and that he could only hope for that with someone someday."

"I hope for you to have that too someday HA!", I state pulling him close.

While embracing, I can smell his cologne, and feel his skin on his neck pressed against my cheek and suddenly experience an overwhelming feeling come over me; almost a strange surging feeling that I can't explain now fills my body, and it feels like all my blood is draining from my head making me light-headed. I practically collapse onto HA's body as he feels I go limp while simultaneously asking me if 'I'm okay.'

As he holds me up from under my arms, I apologize; "So sorry, I don't know what happened just now."

Concerned for me he tells me I look flushed, sits with his arm draped around my back, and holds my hand while questioning me if I am alright.

"I think I am okay, I'm just not sure what happened," I explain pulling back my hair as he strokes my back assuring me that he will stay with me until I feel good enough to walk back to Z.

After recovering, Z worries and insists that I see medical, who tells me I am fine to just get plenty of rest and to hydrate. Our guest's board and are off to their busy lifestyles, while being the compassionate man he is, Z pampers me for the rest of our stay there; though I felt fine after I got to sleep, just as the medic had said I would. The duration of our honeymoon exceeded any expectations that I had going into it, making it quite obvious that Z is the man for me, and that I should  be the happiest woman in existence.

(Continue to next chapter for explanations)

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