Ineffable (Camren)

Tear In My Heart

Camila found herself in front of her boyfriend's locker Monday morning, tapping her foot impatiently against the linoleum. There was five minutes until she had to be in class and if she couldn't do what she was about to then probably wouldn't find the courage again.

She had played the conversation in her head a thousand times over the weekend. She didn't want to make a scene but she wanted to make her feelings clear to the boy. A few students walk through the corridor and Camila pretended to look at her phone intently, before gazing up and noticing her boyfriend with a bunch of his friends.

He noticed her and she waved him over discreetly. He obliged, his eyebrows knit in confusion, as he approached Camila. She was chewing anxiously on her bottom lip, trying to express the reason of her random appearance at his locker. They barely hung out at school, apart from at lunch time on some days when she wasn't with Dinah, Normani and Ally.

"Listen," she began, her voice shaking slightly, "I don't know how to word this properly now that you're right in front of me so I'm just going to be blunt."

"What are you talking about?" He questioned, leaning against his locker.

"I can't be with you anymore," Camila admitted. Her boyfriend raised his eyebrows slightly and blew out a long breath from his lips. "I want to remain friends, because that's basically what we were in the first place, but I can't be in a relationship with you anymore."

"This is really random Camila," he stated.

"I've been feeling this way for a while," she admitted softly, "and it's not fair to keep being with you if I don't feel anything between us."

"Is there someone else?" He asked.

Yes, she thought.

"No, I just don't want a relationship with you," she said, sighing in annoyance. "I'm sorry."

"Well," he sighed, "if you don't feel anything I guess there's no point..." He trailed off, glancing behind himself to see if his friends were watching. They were all laughing, engaged in deep conversation and he turned back to Camila. "Friends."

Camila sent him a tight lipped smile and nodded. "Cool."

He nodded slowly and then awkwardly opened his locker, blocking Camila's face. Camila frowned and then turned away, making her way to class. That went well, she thought. She entered her first class for the day and noticed Lauren sitting at the back. Their eyes met momentarily, before Lauren looked straight at the teacher.

Camila huffed and took a seat to the side of the room, away from Lauren. She didn't make any jokes in class, she just listened to her teacher and read a few pages from the book they were studying.

She was single now. She could express to Lauren what she'd wanted to for weeks, but there was something off about Lauren today. It could have been their conversation after the party on Friday and that caused disheartening anxiety inside Camila. She needed to keep Lauren as a friend, but what if they could be more now?

Would she even want that? Camila wondered.

x

"Lauren, hey."

Lauren looked up from her desk to see Camila's boyfriend standing in front of her. He gave her a small wave before sitting down beside her.

"I need your help," he continued. Lauren pretended to listen intently, staring off into the distance but nodding her head. "Camila broke up with me."

"Wait what?" She snapped her head to him and frowned. "When?"

"This morning," he replied sadly. "It came out of nowhere, I mean I thought we were going strong."