Walk All Over You

Chapter Fifty-Nine

Black leather jacket, opened revealing his sweaty, (faint) muscle toned chest. Black leather pants just as tight to be another skin to his body. His jet black hair was a mess and drenched from the sweat that continued to glow on his skin. They had been performing for quite a while and hadn't of yet noticed my arrival to watch them. Lately I had been avoiding the band yet again, especially avoiding Nikki as much as I could. But no matter what I did, I couldn't escape him, he was everywhere, including in my dreams. Although, I knew I wasn't going to be able to escape Tommy tonight, I was to be bunking with him. But he'd return from the bar afterwards very late.

I was annoyed with everyone but most of all with myself, I couldn't handle not talking to the band I loved and grew close to over the years, I couldn't handle avoiding Nikki any longer. I was very pissed off with him, but I was missing him so much. I missed the friendship we had before the tour began, I missed the little spark we had too. I missed it all, I missed being held in his arms. I hated that I was missing him, I hated that I could no longer deny the fact that I loved him. The one and only man who has truly shown me what it's like to be cared about, to feel loved, what its like to fall in love with someone. He was the one man who showed me how it all felt, revealed my feelings for me. I hated how much I loved him, yet I loved how much I did.

I was physically restless, mentally scolding myself for everything that has happened, feeling my heart continue to both break and flutter every time I looked at Nikki and also feel the sexual frustration I had. I needed to be in his arms, I needed to feel his touch again, but I wasn't sure how I would after what's been going on. Everything seemed hopeless. I was over Axl, not that I really had something for him in the first place. I was glad he was wrapped around Erin's little finger, that he had gotten her pregnant. He did deserve happiness of his own and I was happy that he was with Erin and nothing happened between us.

My heart had always followed Nikki, yearned for him. No matter how angry, jealous and bitchy I got with Nikki, in the end he was the only man I wanted. He was the only man I truly desired.

It wasn't all too much longer until I noticed Tommy point me out with his drum stick and signalling to Nikki. He wasn't talking to me with his gestures, he was instead talking to Nikki. Within seconds, Nikki's head snapped into my direction. For a moment he stopped properly playing his bass, only his fingers were plucking the strings whilst he used his other hand to cease the intense light from shining into his eyes.

I sat there watching him intently, my hands rested in my lap. From the distance, I could faintly see the smile light up Nikki's face as he looked at me. Surprisingly enough, his smile had forced a smile to plastered across my own lips. Don't do that! You're meant to be angry at him and avoiding him! In the pit of my stomach, the butterflies had managed to flutter around as my heart beat rises. God it annoyed me with how much I loved the man. Nikki's grin grew from ear to ear and before long, he lowered his hand and began to play his bass yet again, this time he looked like he was having the time of his life. The smile had never vanished from his face as he began to jump around. He looked like he was truly in bliss.

By the end of the concert, I had snuck out before the band managed to scramble off stage. I didn't know what I was doing, but I knew I was finding my own way back to the hotel. I was assuming that the bands were going to head out for a drink. I on the other hand was going to freshen up and probably go to bed. Alone. When I arrived back at the hotel, I entered the bathroom and stood in the centre, debating whether or not I wanted a bath or a shower. In the end, I thought the shower was the best choice. It was quick and easy, leaving me time to go straight back to bed.