Anthropophobia → a.i

0.8

"I don't get it"

"Then why did you pick this subject?"

"It seemed easy" Ashton said and sighed as he let his head lower and rest on the table, on top of his books and notes.

"A dead language seemed easy to you?" I asked as I leaned back on the uncomfortable chair of the school's library.

It was the only place I felt somewhat nice to be, especially when it involved me getting really close with another person.

I got really lucky that Ashton chose a table that was in the middle of the empty library, and that was big enough so not even our textbooks were touching.

"Okay it may seem stupid but I picked that subject in a hurry because I really didn't like the other options." He apologized as he blushed and looked away trying to make sure I wouldn't notice. Even though I did, I didn't say anything.

I know if things were reversed I wouldn't want him to laugh in my face for blushing to something like Latin. Or anything at this point.

"Can I ask you something?" My heart started racing and my eyes widened in fear. Luckily my head was facing down at my books so I didn't have to look at him and see his reaction of my small panic attack.

I managed to control my breathing but before I lifted my head to look at him, I kept my shaking and clammy hands underneath the table we were occupying.

"Sure" I mumbled while I managed to throw a smile towards him. I doubt he believed it though.

"What are you so scared of?"

I think it's fair to say the question caught me off guard. I was expecting something like a stupid question of his or why did I turn his proposition down.

But no. It had to be something so personal and frankly something I didn't feel like talking. So I kept my answer small and quick.

"People. My parents, the mailman, my little sister...you"

"Even me?" He asked with a surprised expression. His mouth was agape staring at something on my hands that were now on the table but still slightly shaking.

"Why would you be any different?"

He remained silent for a while. Maybe it was more than I thought but I had lost track of time.

Eventually he didn't say anything. He just reached out and placed his hand on mine.

My mind was screaming to run the other way but at the same time I tried to keep my therapist's words in mind.

So instead of running away I ignored my hammering heart, and I ignored the fact my hands were really sweaty and that this whole situation was very awkward and I just stared at our hands.

I could feel his eyes on me but the only thing I could think was that his hand was warm and that it felt soft against my own.

Without thinking much of this I turned my hand over so that my fingers could touch his hand as well.

And then I looked up. And he was smiling.

And it felt nice.

After that, as if he read my mind he pulled his hand away and returned his attention back to the small translated Latin book.

And I was left staring at him with my hand feeling cold all of a sudden.

***

Hey guys.

A small update for you because you got this book to 1.11k which made me really happy.

I just want to say that I don't know much about this phobia and I don't know if I'm portraying it correctly. If not forgive me. I didn't mean to insult anyone.