Anthropophobia → a.i

1.0

As if on cue things started changing.

I felt sick and I spent an entire week home. My mum looked worried again. She told me I got calls from my friend and Ashton but I only talked to my friend.

When I went back to school things were exactly the same as I left them. Nobody felt the changes but me and that's exactly what scared me the most. If I only see it, does that mean it's not happening? Or that they're not looking hard enough?

I wanted to avoid everybody and hide in the corners as I was used to but I didn't want all those months of my hard work to go to waste either. Therefore I tried - I did my best - to stay as social as I could be.

It worked for a bit. Until of course I saw Ashton walking towards me during lunch time.

"Hey. Missed seeing you around here. Everything okay?" He started talking, asking. Nothing had changed. He was the same boy and I was the same girl. Him being outgoing and talkative, me being closed off and scared.

Everything okay? I don't know if everything is okay but I can't really say it's bad either. I've had worse days. Years.

"I'm good. What about you?" Staying social. Making small talk. Don't forget to smile. Breathe. He's your friend. He's your friend. Friend. Friend.

What does that even mean?

"I kind of feel weird." He admitted while shrugging his shoulders.

"Why is that?" Now comes worrying. Am I worrying about me or him feeling weird?

What does weird even mean?

"Kathryn has been nagging me all week. And you weren't even here to protect me" he said smiling while bumping his shoulder to mine. I gather Kathryn is his ex.

"What does she want?" Putting aside my thoughts, curiosity took over.

"She wants to get back together. But nah. Once a cheater, always a cheater. Right?"

"Right" I mumbled confirming his words. I felt lighter. Smiling at him was this time easier.

"Plus I have my eye on someone else." He added smiling. I nodded. Smiled. Heavy once again. Why am I like this? The answer made my heart race because I knew it. I knew why I just didn't want to admit it. I'm not ready to say something like that. Not even in my head.

The bell rang signalling the end of lunch time. I started putting things away. He looked sceptical.

"Nat?"

"Yeah?"

"To avoid any misunderstandings between us, I meant you. I have my eye on you and I know you're not ready. I'm just happy with being your friend." He smiled. Waved and walked towards the opposite way that I would take.

Lighter once again I went to class.

***

Hi! Yeah I know it's been a while. Finals in less than 2 months :'(

I hope you like it.

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