Troubled | alex turner

thirteen

autumn chloe radford

Last minute, during an English lesson, Alex had mumbled the first thing to me in ages.

"Meet me on the astroturf after school," He said, and we continued what we were doing in silence. I had the last word of course, just before he left.

"I'll see you there," I said, and squeezed his very big pale hand, just for an innocent flirt.

So here we were, me standing in front of Alex, on a typical autumn afternoon.

He was dressed smartly and simply; that always seemed to be his style. Anything that didn't bring too much attention and something that was clear in between a fashionista and a complete homeless person was his aim.

Simple fitted him well, as much as I hated to admit it, it was the truth. He only wore a simple white tee and a pair of jeans. Almost anyone in the world could wear that, yet he managed to make it look as though it was tailored for himself.

For some reason, he wasn't acting like himself; at all.

He was nervous; he was so incredibly nervous that it was almost scary how clear it was that he was nervous. He continued to pick on the skin on his fingers as a shine of sweat grew more visible on his features. He wasn't just nervous, he was lying.

I could tell by his wavering eye contact and his sudden desire to talk to me, despite "everything I had done." I could've flat out called him out, but I decided to bite my tongue and listen to whatever he was saying.

"I just wanted to," Alex begins, apparently talking to the bin because he was staring intently at it.

"Wanted to what, Alex?" I smirk, folding my arms, but I try to make it seem as though I was oblivious to the fact that he was lying.

He's such a crap liar.

He kept fiddling with his hands, whilst looking at a bin behind him or the floor in front of him. "I'm sorry, okay Autumn?" He says suddenly, with such confidence that it even surprised me.

He finally had my attention. "For what?" I challenged.

"For ignoring you. Honestly, it was a foolish thing to do."

Damn right, it was. "Okay."

"Honestly, it was because-"

"Because what?" I asked eagerly, keeping complete eye contact with him. Well as much as I could, his eyes managed to divert everywhere around him.

"Forget it," Alex laughs nervously, rubbing his neck as he walks away.

He was definitely up to something, and I'm going to play along. "Wait," I speak, and he turns around to face me. "Tell me, please."

It was almost as though Alex had heard exactly what he did not want to hear. A deep exhale left his pink lips as his palms wiped against the fabric that belonged to his jeans. "I missed you," He says, and that seemed like the only truth that left his currently dishonest mouth.

"Why?" I asked, and I did want to know. We weren't that close, at all, except for that prank I pulled on him. Maybe he thought we had some sort of connection or some shit like that.

Alex shoved his hands in his insanely huge jean pockets. "I know we weren't close at all, but when we were, even for that five minutes, I loved it."

In my jacket pocket, I felt my Nokia vibrate harshly. I had to go, first to check on Mum and Dad in rehab, and then to see the Razors.

It was fun playing along to this load of bullshit that Alex started, and I'm definitely going to continue with it.

"Look, Alex," I said, gently, "I've got to go, but we can talk about this later, okay?"

Alex took his shaking hands out of his pockets, and nodded before walking off. Something about this made me feel as though there was something missing, as though I hadn't made that big of a statement. If he was going to present me with some out of the blue bullshit, I needed to do the same, bigger, however.

"Oi, Turner!" I shout, and he stops walking and turns around.

Running over to him, I grab his neck, and hold it with my cold, cold fingers. I exhale slowly, before placing my lips against him. We stayed still for a while, before I slipped my tongue in, and we moved together. Why am I not hating this?

I didn't mind kissing him, he smelled like the inside of an incredible book. He was cosy and warm, like a family gathered around a crackling fireplace, with wooly socks and thick oversized jumpers.

I was the one to end it, and I wasn't shocked, to be honest. Alex was easily overwhelmed, and I know he enjoyed that, despite him talking to me as some sort of payback. He only wanted payback because the feelings that were there never left in the first place.

I pecked his lips. "See you in English," I said, and we parted our separate ways. I got my buzzing phone out of my pocket. It was Penny; I quickly opened the message.

Penny: Hello, Autumn, hope everything is alright with you. I am very sorry to say that you will not be able to see your parents for at least two days. The board of Directors and I think it will be very beneficial for not just your parents, but for you as well. Please feel free to contact me about this matter. Enjoy your evening, Autumn.

Are you fucking serious? I have to see them. No one else will be able to help them but me. All of our relatives haven't spoken to Mum and Dad for years because they haven't been sober, and they've all just fucked off because they can't deal with the drama.

Rapidly, I ring Penny's number.

"Doctor Turner's office, how may I help you?" Penny's voice rings through the line.

"I need to see them, Penny," I state, completely stressing out.

"And I understand why, but you need to hear it from a professional's opinion-"

"Do you think I give a fuck about a professional's opinion? No one knows my parents better than I do."

"Of course, Autumn. But they are in such a state because of withdrawal that it would be a complete safety hazard if I let you see them."

"Safety hazard? Listen here, Penny. You have no idea what I've seen, or what they've done to me, I've seen them go through withdrawal before. I need to see them."

"Honey, you have no idea-"

"I have no idea? Listen here Penny. I'm going to be with my parents by six o clock this evening. Tell your board of shitheads that I'm going to be there, like it or not."