Troubled | alex turner

twenty eight

Autumn Chloe Radford

"Miles, I have to go, please," I say, walking hurriedly to my motorbike. There was no point in staying here. I was foolish to think I could ever be with a good person, especially since I'm going to send an innocent man to prison.

"Just stop for a bit," he says calmly, in midst of the running and the worried stomping. He looks at me continuously and I stop in my tracks.

"Why'd you follow me here?" I ask, annoyed up that Miles couldn't seem to keep to himself, especially about the matters of Alex and I.

"I thought we was in agreement," he begins, his eyes looking weary and distressed, and I fight the urge to roll my eyes. When was the last time I cared for someone who wasn't me? He holds my hands. "Please. You told me-"

"Why do you assume it was me?" I reply angrily and keep walking for a minute before stopping. "Because you want it to be," I mumble and walk back over to him.

"Don't worry, he's all yours, Miles. Same gendered rebounds seem to be the only thing Alex and I have in common," I say, my eyes stinging, begging me to let them leak. Miles stands there, completely frozen."Enjoy yourself," I exhale shakily, before finally walking to my motorcycle, the way I started: alone.

"Autumn!" He shouts, and begins running after me. If only it were Alex. I turn around and stop in my tracks, waiting for him. He comes near me, catching his breath for a second before speaking again. "I love him," he sighs, his eyes closing briefly before continuing. "I wish I could stay away but the second he shows that he-"

"I get it," I say bitterly.

"You don't understand I- I really-"

"Oh trust me," I scoff, "I understand, if it's anything I can do properly, it's understanding. But don't expect to come to your one year anniversary," I stare at him momentarily. "Just cause I don't love him-"

"It's not a competition," he smiles, holding my lower arm. "He really feels for you and I would never come between something that has nothing to do with me."

I exhale slowly and shakily. Miles kisses my cheek, and hugs me before walking away peacefully. My Nokia begins to vibrate in my pocket, and I answer it. "Radford," I say.

"Autumn, we've got a situation. Garage - ten minutes," Luke says and I sigh, before slapping my hand against my forehead.

"I'll be there," I say, hanging up, running towards my bike and starting it almost immediately. I was riding my bike in my pyjamas, on Christmas day as quickly as possible to fix a frame job or a drug deal.

This always felt like second nature but I couldn't feel more disgusted with myself. I wiped my face briefly, and as I opened my eyes, I could see Alex walking towards me.

He gives me the same fucking nerdy sweater he wears every day, pulling it over my head and helping my put my arms in the sleeves, like a baby.

I stare at him blankly, trying to figure out what he wanted from me. He comes so close to me, wraps his arms around me, my back now leaning against the wall. He kisses me fully, properly, slipping in his tongue just to show it was there.

"Wouldn't want you to be cold," he says, pulling away from me. Alex was sobbing, I thought I felt water against my cheeks as he was kissing me. Now I could see his red face clearly. "I'll see you in english," he smiles at me.

I hugged him. I knew it was over now. The lack of dramatics, the flatline of our continuous hilly relationship simply indicated that we were dead. I didn't know what to feel, so I drove away, still feeling cold.

Christmas wasn't important, neither were the holidays. I'm not religious, I don't have family and I live alone. It doesn't necessarily mean that I'm sad, or I'm struggling but just simply that my situation isn't ideal, but I can cope. I've spent previous holidays carrying my parents to bed and wiping up vomit.

I ignored everything and raced my motorbike toward the garage, from a distance I could see their cars, and I knew I was in for a treat. Maybe the drama here would make up for the lack over there.

I park it outside quickly and run inside as they close the garage door upon my entry. Their conversations quieten down, and Taylor refuses my gaze.

"Alex?" Luke asks, and I smile, pulling down his shitty jumper, lacking in style but making up in warmth.

"Yep, morning Christmas sex," I say sarcastically, but the overall tone of the room seemed... very off. "What's up?"

"Nothing," Niall smiles, fixing his hair. "You and that Alex lad are getting awful close."

"Yeah, true love, I'm sure. Any more invasive, pointless questions?" I sigh, getting sick of this. After my morning, I definitely wasn't taking any shit from anybody.

"Why, trouble in paradise?" Taylor asks, fiddling with her nails, still not looking at me.

"Outside," I glare at her, rolling my eyes. She smirks, walking outside in her tight skirt, stockings and high heels. She dressed like a classy prostitute. "Wait, I'll be in a minute," I demand, and Leo waves his hands up, looking like he was dying with fear.

I walked close to him. "Wipe the piss from your jeans," I said aggressively, tapping him on the back as I walked out.

"Enlighten me, Taylor," I say, in my increasingly monotone voice.

She smiles again, looking at the floor still. "Just making a joke, captain," she laughs, and nothing pissed me off more than realising her laugh was towards the floor.

I hold her face and push it upwards, "look at me, when you say that bullshit." Her eyes softened, and she edges her face closer to me within my palm, thinking we were going to kiss, her lips twitched and I released my hand, walking away.

She grabs my hips, a hand on each side, grinding against me.

"Stop," I said. She looked up at me, completely in shock.

"Sorry," she said, straightening herself out. "Hard to keep up with you two."

We walked in, me leading; her following. "What's wrong?" I say, and I watch everyone look at everyone else, deciding who was going to voice their concerns.

"The police want to ask you a few questions," Leo sputters.