Troubled | alex turner

thirty five

Alexander David Turner

"Autumn, would you like to go home? Freshen up, have some rest? You've been in the hospital for a long time-" Mum asked.

"Yeah, I need to grab a few things," Autumn nodded.

What the fuck was wrong with me? It was always so clear, right under my nose. I'm so stupid in love with her that I didn't realise that she, the love of my life, robbed a bank and planted it on an innocent man.

Maybe I didn't know everything, maybe there was more to the story, but could that really excuse what she was doing? Do I tell the police? I mean, no way, right? She didn't look half as panicked as I thought she'd be, because she knew I would never say anything.

And she was right. I could never. After everything she has been through, why should she go to jail? She's young, her life is just beginning. But I am done being in the dark, not knowing what's going on. I know I have to go easy on her, I know she isn't like me. I could never hide anything like that from her, even if I wanted to.

We arrived at her house, and Leo and Autumn said their goodbyes. "Mum, I'm going to go with them, I'll meet you in the hospital in a few hours, alright?" I asked, and she nodded, before I got out of the car and followed them in.

It was, of course, freezing outside. The worst of the winter was nowhere near over. Autumn's house was cold, and empty. We all went into the living room, shards of glass all over the floor. The trauma of having parents like that is something I can never understand.

Strangely enough, we all sat in a solemn silence before I broke the ice. "What are you waiting for?" I asked, looking directly at Autumn, and she was sitting directly opposite from me. She cracked her fingers. Was she nervous? With me? She looked at Leo, I guess for approval?

"I guess I should go," Leo said, looking at the both of us, as we sat in this weird triangle formation, all about a meter from each other. I furrowed my eyebrows.

"No. I need to know the truth and every single detail about this bank robbery, from both of you," I demanded.

Leo looked more confused. "Ask your girlfriend, alright? I don't owe you any explanation."

Lunging forward, I responded."Says who? I need to know the full truth, the full extent of EVERYTHING that went on, understood?" I shouted, and I felt this weird rage and frustration build up inside of me, out of nowhere.

They both looked very taken aback. "Autumn, go on," I said, and her mouth opened and closed maybe five times, but nothing was coming out.

"I don't know what you want to know. I don't even think you should know anything else. You cannot be any part of this, idiot. God knows what they would do to you in prison," Autumn said, standing up, walking toward me.

"She's right, Turner. We can't afford a newbie on this, we got eyes from everyone in Boston, understand? The less you know-"

"I WAS GOING TO CONFESS," I screamed, and the room fell so silent all we could hear were each other's breathing. I could feel Autumn looking at me, with some concern or something. Who knows. "Do you understand? You think I would ever let you spend a minute in jail, unsafe?" I ask her, my eyes tearing up. "I was ready to go to jail for God knows how long. What do I have to do to prove to you that I love you? Because I do, I swear to God I do, too much for my own good," I said, the tears now reaching my cheeks.

She wasn't even looking at me, I could feel how uncomfortable she felt. I had never told her that I loved her, because I thought she would be an idiot if she didn't know already. I am crazy for her, and I have no fucking idea why.

I got myself together, took a deep breath and wiped my tears. "Okay," I said, exhaling, "let's just start with the easy stuff, alright?" I asked, and she nodded, still not looking at me. "Sit down, Autumn," I whispered, "relax."

Complying, she sat down, facing toward me. Leo sat next to her. "From the beginning, okay? Tell me about the prank," I say, and her eyes widen as she looks at me, then Leo.

"No, Alex, come on, does that really matter? It was stupid, you know I-"

"I want to know, Autumn. Tell me why, tell me how, just tell me," I said, and she licked her lips and tucked her hair behind her ear.

To my surprise, Leo began. "Look, pal. We did a bunch of pranks that year, and this was going to be the last one, and we wanted to end it on a good one. And then-"

All of a sudden, Autumn got alert. "Some birdy told Leo that you had a crush on me, and that's it, just some harmless fun and I didn't know that it would, like, upset you. I mean we barely knew each other and-"

I cut her off. "Who told Leo?" My eyes wandered back and forth, from Autumn to Leo, Leo to Autumn. The room fell silent, again. "Why won't you just tell me?"

"Alex," Autumn whispered, her arms on my shoulders. "It doesn't matter, we don't remember,you know it was a long time ago-"

"Stop lying, now," I replied. Running my hands through my hair, I pleaded again."For once, tell me the fucking truth."

Autumn shut her eyes, as the sound came out of Leo's mouth, and my world felt still. "It was Miles."