Searching For Sanity

Chapter 5: Homecoming

Today was the day. Homecoming, I was wearing my school colors, the red white and gold in lines on my cheeks; wearing my softball jacket. I had Taylor with me and I was ready to go. Believe it or not I didn't let my anxiety take me over. I was excited to meet J.D, even if it may mean I'd never see him again; yeah because that's a great way to think about it, Victoria. It'll be a little weird at first, since we have sort of a back ground, at one point I had a crush on him because he's a great guy and it just I don't know everything turned complicated and we pretty much (indirectly of course) decided just to be friends, so we are. I like to think that I don't have feelings for him anymore but it's weird, sometimes I feel like I do and sometimes I don't. He's the type of friend that I'd live with; we had plans of living together after I was out of high school or college. Either way, I'm meeting him tonight. I'm doing it, I'm actually doing it. Man was I nervous. Not like scary movie scared; terrified. I was more, first day at a new school, you know nobody and you get that tight feeling within your stomach as if you're going to be sick. But I was not about to back out of this. I'm going to do this. I picked up my face paint and put it in my pocket. I mean, got to make it believable that J.D actually belongs in this school event, am I right?
Taylor drove to my house and came to pick me up. Taylor was 16, she could already drive, unlike me. I walked out of my front door, my legs practically shaking from how nervous I was.
"Hey girl"
"Hey."
"Are you excited?"
"Nervous."
I proceeded and put dots in a sideways S figure on Taylor's face. No matter what event it was, it seemed as if I was always doing her makeup; It never bothered me though. Once we both were ready she drove us to the game. Luckily we got to the game early enough so we didn't get stuck in traffic, or how I like to say it, killed. Since J.D didn't actually go to our school, he had to come in with us or he'd have to pay full price. My schools weird in the sense that if you're with a student you only have to pay once.
The Kim Possible ringtone went off in my pocket.
"Victoria!!" Taylor grinned at me knowing exactly who it was that was calling me. I answered, hesitating at first. While Taylor and I got out of the car and walked to the sidewalk near the school. Is this a dream? I wondered then answered.
"Hello?"
"Hey, Victoria, where are you?" J.D said.
"Hey, J, Taylor and I are near the sidewalk at the front of the school." I said.
"Alright, I'll stay on the phone with you so I can know if I'm going to the right place."
"Okay-"
"Hey Victoria?"
"Wha-Yeah?"
"I'm really looking forward to seeing you."
I stayed silent. What do I say?? I was so nervous I was shaking.
"I-Me too."
"I'm guessing you're nervous?"
I began to say
"More than you ever could guess." When I heard the dial tone. Oh god. Oh god. I looked at my phone to make sure I still had signal, then quickly but thoroughly a pair of arms wrapped around me.
"Hey Victoria."
I smiled. This was happening. He was here. Oh. My. God. I couldn't even begin to say hello to him, the smile on my face was from the edges of my cheeks to the ground that laid under my feet.
"How are you?"
"Right now, I'm great." He grinned at me.
"I can't believe this is happening."
"Me either."
Taylor came over about 5 minutes later and laughed.
"Have you two let go of each other since he got here?"
Him and I laughed.
"Nope." He looked down at me and smiled. Obviously he was taller than I am. I'm only 5 foot 6 1/2 inches. Plus, he's a guy. He's supposed to be taller than I anticipated. With him here I felt jittery, J.D you're here. For years he's been my sense of distraction, the person I'd talk to when I was worried, upset, happy, anytime. I always wanted to talk to him.
I looked around. People I know, teachers I know. Taylor was here, not with us, but here also. Taylor felt it was necessary to leave J.D and I alone. The feeling came back. He continued to smile at me. Not a fake smile, not a I hate everyone but a more sincere smile. I really hoped he didn't notice me looking at his smile.
"So, what do you think of East High?"
He shrugged. "It's okay, I haven't really been paying too much attention."

What did he mean by that. Was he only interested in the game? We were standing at the end zone, the turf field ending about 4 feet in front of us, the track beginning, the fence we were leaning on being the closure to the field. I grinned at him.

"You're so smiley tonight."

I giggled. "I know."

Then it happened, the feeling I've always wondered what it would feel like, we both just stood there smiling at each other. Like old lovers, or new lovers, obsessed with each other. I didn't like him. Or did I? Did he like me? When I was contemplating all of this I must have been making a weird face since he proceeded to say,
"Are you hungry?"
"A little, are you?"
"Kind of, want to get something to eat?"
"Sure"
I gently flashed a smile and he returned it back to me. We began to walk, people running into me, my side, my front, my back. I was worried I was going to loose him.
"Victoria!"
I pushed through the crowd of chanting male figures. I would complain, but they were actually there for the game, unlike me. I looked down at his feet, black converse high tops, black jeans with a black coat to go with it. He's not the type of guy I'd usually go for, but damn. He had me wrapped around his finger like a ring. I looked up to his face, his green eyes and golden brown hair, just like how he had described himself. He was real. I'm not dreaming. He took my hand, his lips moving into a smile, I was holding his hand. This was happening.

"Ready?"

"Ready."

Together, we pushed through the crowd. This was unlike previous years at homecoming. In previous years I held my friends hand, but it was a different story. He pursued an interest in me, but I did not pursue one back towards him. I'd get embarrassed if anyone had seen us together mostly because I didn't want to have to deal with that rumor going around. With J.D, it was different. I didn't care who saw us or what they said. I looked over at him while we walked, gently licking my lips. Man, would i do anything to have him live closer.

Soon after we had finished our food I noticed that it was already half time. Half time. Football paused. People crowding. Oh no. I looked over at him.

"Hey, want to go behind the bleachers?"

"Sorry, I don't have a bleachers kink." He chuckled and pushed his shoulder into mine slightly in a joking manner. I sort of faked a laugh back to him then continued on.

"No, I'm serious. Lets go back there."

He shrugged. "Okay, but I still don't have a bleachers kink, Toria."

I laughed. "As you've said, come on dumbass."

I took a hold of his hand, just how he took a hold of mine earlier that evening. We walked behind the bleachers. Any other year all game long I would've been behind the bleachers with my friends, It's just where we hangout. Taylor and Jamie, along with my other friends were under the bleachers, as I had anticipated. I mean, he said he wanted to meet my friends.

So I introduced him, most of my friends responding with a "I've heard so much about you". Which of course made me smile like an idiot. It was still difficult to believe he was actually here. It was as if a long lost sibling had come to town. He didn't let go of my hand at all while we made conversation with my friends. With my friends later asking "Can we take a picture of you and Victoria??". He never liked photos of himself, so he never really took them. I had expected him to say no, but instead he shrugged.
"If Victoria wants to."
I looked at him and gave him a cheeky smile.
"Sure, why not?"
I handed my phone to Jamie then stood next to him. He wrapped his arms around me, resting his hands in the crevasse of my back while I put my arms around his neck, resting my hands slightly under his neck. Both of us smiled.
"Okay, 1..2.. you guys are so cute!!" Jamie counted then laughed. "Sorry, sorry ready?"
Him and I both laughed.
"We've been ready" I said.
Both of us grinned as she took the photo. At the time, I wasn't expecting anything, until he gently leaned in and planted a small kiss on my cheek. I just smiled. What else do I do? I had never had a boyfriend before. Wait, Victoria. Back up. He's not your boyfriend. or is he?