Whole Lotta Love (a sequel to Crush)

Part 1

Nikki's p.o.v. -
As I sat in Ryan's arms a scary thought entered my mind.  One I had not purposely thought of in years.  Something that could possibly destroy my relationship with my dream man.  I didn't like to think about it at all but suddenly when it came into my head I wondered if I should just put it out in the open. 

However I also thought "If I tell him what it is will he still love me?  Will he hate me?  Will we still get married?  Should I bury this secret again?"

I kept wrestling with the idea of telling him but chose not to at that time, knowing it could just blow up in my face.

The decision to hide it longer was not easy.  It had my stomach in knots and my head pounding. 

All of this only had Ryan asking "Why?"

I just said "Nerves.  I love you but I think all brides get nervous."

Ryan's p.o.v. -
I wasn't buying that it was just nerves but I chose to let it go.  I knew something was bothering her but decided against pushing for what it was.

Instead we got dressed and went to my house. 

The following day I was at work filming scenes with Kirsten and for some reason it kept bothering me that Nikki had something bothering her.  I had to know what it was. 

Kirsten asked "What's wrong Ry?"

I said "I got the feeling yesterday Nikki has a secret.  I haven't asked what it was but I have a feeling it is really bad."

Kirsten said "Why don't you just ask?  Even a small secret could tear people apart if they don't discuss it."

I, for some unknown reason chose to ignore my co star and keep it all silent.  I chose not to ask.  This was not me.  I need honesty from all my friends and loved ones.  Yet at this moment I was choosing to not ask anything of my fiancé.

I finished my scenes and went home. 

I saw my beautiful lady on the couch with a bottle of champagne some strawberries and a romantic movie.  I didn't know what her plan was but it momentarily got my mind off asking of her secret.

She wore a silky robe over a matching blue/black lace bra/panty set.

She looked so beautiful I couldn't keep my eyes off her gorgeous body.  She pressed play on the player and I listened to the lines from Humphrey Bogart and Ingrid Bergman. 

My ears were focused on the movie but my eyes were locked on Nikki.  It was like we were the only two people on earth.  I couldn't believe how much I loved this woman. 

Once the film was over I kissed her sweet lips and was shocked by her response. 

Nikki said "I love you, I can't do this.  I don't regret the times we already did it but I can't."

I couldn't believe my ears.  My fiancé turned me down for sex.  This was just proof something was wrong.  I had to know what it was.

I asked "Baby?  Is something wrong?  Whatever it is you can tell me.  I won't hate you."