[A/N: The names for each scenario weren't actually in the movie, of course.]
Shoot!
PURPLE GUY: [aiming to shoot Chica]
MIKE: [pops out of nowhere] Hey PG.
PURPLE GUY: [misses the shot]
JEREMY: I'm the king of the-- [gets shot in chest]
PURPLE GUY: [sighs] Michael..
MY Backpack!
PURPLE GUY: [grabs Mike's backpack]
MIKE: [grabs onto backpack]
PURPLE GUY: I was here first!
MIKE: I brought this backpack!
PURPLE GUY: [tries to run away, but Mike is still holding onto the backpack]
JEREMY: [throws a dagger into Mike's back]
PURPLE GUY: [tugging on the backpack] Uh...
MIKE: What?! [turns his head to the right so he can see his back] It's fine!
PURPLE GUY AND MIKE: [still fighting over backpack]
JEREMY: [throws a dagger into Mike's neck]
MIKE: I'm okay!
PURPLE GUY: There is a dagger in your neck!
JEREMY: [cuts off Mike's legs]
PURPLE GUY: [starts to run]
MIKE: [still holding onto backpack]
MIKE: [ends up falling off]
PURPLE GUY: [runs away]
MIKE: That is MY backpack!
MIKE: [dies]
Blending In
PURPLE GUY: Jeremy- Jeremy over here.
JEREMY: Over where?
PURPLE GUY: Over here, in the giant cake.
JEREMY: [looks in front of him to see a giant, pink, cake]
PURPLE GUY: I used my superior baking skills to blend in with my surroundings.
The Night Watchman That Nobody Gives a Shit About
MIKE: So, kiddo, you're gonna be a night watchman here at Freddy Fazfuck's Pizzeria.
PURPLE GUY: Uh, Mike, I'm the watchm--
MIKE: Purple Guy: the security guard that nobody gives a shit about. Will NOT be coming to theatres near you.
