into the light - destiel

chapter seven

cas was the first to wake up. he looked around the table in a panic, searching for dean, until he remembered that dean was laid in his room.

cas couldn't wait for sam and Charlie to awake, he had to go and check on dean now.

he stood up slowly, and walked to deans room, too scared to use his grace to get there in case dean hadn't awoken yet, but also too worried about dean to wait for Charlie and sam.

he reached deans door and slowly opened it, his hands now shaking violently. dean was lying on the bed, his eyes shut. cas let out a sigh and walked over to dean, before shaking his arm to wake him. at first, nothing happened, and castiel feared the worst, but after a couple more shakes dean began to open his eyes.

'cas?'
'dean. you're okay.'
'uh, yeah, I guess I am...'
'don't do that again.'

castiel grabbed dean and pulled him into a tight embrace, and dean just let him. he didn't care about his feelings for the Angel anymore, he was too happy to be out of that hell-like sleep.

'cas, I-'
'I know. me too.'
'wait...you can tell what I was going to say?'
'I could feel it Dean, I've been able to feel it for a long time.'
'why didn't you say anything?'
'I didn't want to make you feel uncomfortable. I understand that you find the topic of homosexuality quite unacceptable.'
'no cas, that's not it...I just, I just...my dad, he would have killed me...so I never did anything about it...I just Ignored it...I never thought anything would come of it Yano? hunters life...can't afford to love people...they always die.'
'oh. so the only reason you did not tell me is because you were scared, and not because of the gender of the vessel I decided to use?'
'basically, yeah cas.'
'so you would still love me whatever vessel I was using. or if I was in my celestial form.'
'well, yeah, obviously I would.'
'oh.'
'right. so...what do we do now?'
'I don't know, Dean.'
'oh. well um...I don't know either.'

Dean looked down at his hands and began playing with his fingers, but stopped when cas reached out and grabbed his hand.

'I'm glad we could save you Dean. I was really rather worried. which is unusual because I am an angel, we don't usually feel things.'
'oh. well I guess you're different. well, I know you're different...you're not a dick, like the other Angels. or psychotic...or evil.'
'Dean, not all my brothers and sisters are dicks, as you put it.'
'well you have to admit they are pretty weird. what are they going to say...about us?'
'oh they will not approve. well...the majority will not. Gabriel, however, he is a different story...he sees things how they are, not how they look. although I fear he may be dead.'
'look cas, if we know gabriel, he's in hiding, or something...he never dies, not really...he'll be out there somewhere.'
'I hope your right Dean.'
'yeah, so do I. Gabriel's one of the good guys...even though he killed me a hundred times.'
'that was merely a training exercise for sam.'
'yeah well it wasn't very pleasant for him.'
'I will make Gabriel apologise for that, if we ever do meet again.'
'nah it's okay cas. you don't have to do that.'

Dean lightly squeezed cas' hand, before Charlie and sam ran into the room.

'dean! cas! oh...you're alive! sam...um...we'll talk to Dean later, we have to um...make...coffee!'
'right...yeah. Dean...it's good to see you properly. And we're having a talk, all four of us. in the kitchen. five minutes. don't do anything dirty Dean you don't have time to shower.'

Dean blushed bright red as sam and Charlie left the room, and when he looked at cas he almost cried laughing at the puzzled face the Angel had acquired.

'Dean I do not understand what sam means, why would you need to shower? there is nothing dirty in this room and you yourself are fairly clean.'
'that's not what he meant cas...'
'what did he mean? Dean, tell me. please.'
'oh god...he meant us. he meant don't us two, do anything...dirty.'
'Dean I can assure you I'm not planning on dirtying these clothes or myself, I am more concerned about your welfare.'
'oh my god. I give up...come on, let's go talk to sam and Charlie.'

Dean grabbed hold of cas' hand and led him out of the bedroom, down the halls, and towards the kitchen where sam and Charlie were both sat.

as they walked in, Charlie giggled at the sight of them holding hands and sam coughed 'destiel' under his breath.
Dean glared at them while castiel just smiled to himself.

he was holding deans hand. he didn't know why this was special but it made him feel good.
Dean loved him, he could feel it. the words hadn't been admitted yet, but he knew.