Safe Haven

8. Nightmares

Hazard

I wasn't much of a sleeper. On an average day I ran on maybe 3 or 4 hours. Other days even less. I knew I'd have a hard time trying to fall asleep here. I was wired. The room I was in was modestly furnished, but The basics were all there. The bed left something to be desired though....mainly about an extra 2 feet. I hadn't slept in a twin bed since  I was 10. At 6'1" and 250 lbs it would be a tight squeeze.

 I quickly found the bathroom and showered. I could have went back to the hotel I had checked into but I couldn't leave. I tried convincing myself it was because I hadn't received all the answers to my questions regarding the safe haven but the ache in my pants was a constant reminder of how false that was. I wasn't leaving and the real reason was located behind the wall that my bed for the night was shoved against. Damn it was looking to be a long night.

It was Two hours later, I was still facing the ceiling wide awake, when I heard the first scream followed by a pleading cry coming from the room next door. Haven. I shot out of bed, gun ready, and almost tripped over two small bodies in the hallway sitting against the wall. 

What the hell? 

The look on my face must have prompted an answer. 

"It happens every so often," the girl Haven called Melody said softly. I lowered my gun. Relieved that no one was being attacked but still worried.

 "Do you know why?" I asked her. 

"She doesn't talk to anyone about it afterwards. We usually just wait here until she quiets down." 

"How long is that?"

 "When she wakes up. Sometimes is doesn't last long, only an hour or so." 

"What the..." I stopped myself when a scolding look ran across her soft brown face. 

"I mean, why not wake her up?"  Melody rolled her eyes and bundled the little boy closer to her. 

"She nearly took out Punchy and Wag. After they had to replace the lamps and the fan from the bedroom they decided it would be better just to leave her. Besides....it doesn't happen all the time. Maybe once every month or so now when something sets her off." 

Haven let out another scream from behind the door. The sound was beyond disturbing. What the hell had she seen or been through that would cause her to react this way? It was the gut wrenching crying that made up my mind. 

"Fuck this. I'm going in." There was no way I could listen to her suffering....and that should have been my first clue I was in too deep.

Haven

I knew this was a dream. Hell it happened the same way every time. Didn't matter though. Knowing and being aware didn't help. I could still feel the pain of the knife pushing into my arm. I pleaded with her not to do it. We could find another way. We could make it out together. 

In the daytime I could live in denial. I could tell myself she was still alive and that I would find her. That one day she would escape like I did. In my dreams I saw her face. I couldn't deny the resounding acceptance of defeat in her face. She knew if I escaped she never would. In my dreams I knew that too. I fought against the guards as hard as I could. I wasn't ready for this to be the last time I saw her. 

My screams grew louder as they beat me for harming myself. They didn't know I wasn't screaming from the pain they were inflicting....I was screaming because i couldn't save her too....

Suddenly I was overcome with the need to fight back. Their hands were too real trying to restrain me. 

"Haven! Haven! Snap out of it! It's just a dream." I continued to struggle. 

It was his scent that hit me first....it wasn't the dirty smell of the men who held me down time and time again. It was the mix of leather and soap. When his voice dropped to a whisper I stilled. I felt his arms around me and couldn't help but panic. 

I was safe....and that was sometimes worse. Because if I was safe....then she was gone.