Safe Haven

30. Goodbyes

Haven

It had been a long two weeks in the hospital. The memory loss I was experiencing was still there but physically I was a lot better. The bruises and cuts were nearly healed. The extra calories I'd been fed had caused my cheeks to fill back out and the ample amounts of antibiotics had cleared the pneumonia up. I had a small cough but other than that I was healthy enough to resent being stuck here.

I had ample amounts of visitors once I was moved from ICU. Seeing my parents again was both difficult and exciting. Thankfully, Hazard (or someone) had explained to them what had happened. Hopefully without giving them the harsh details of the kidnapping. My Mom was dramatic as she generally was (probably where Sasha got it from), and continuously fussed until my dad  had to intervene. They didn't speak much about it, preferring to focus on being reunited  but I could read the sadness in their eyes. They may have grieved us once but when they found me and not Sasha...well they had to grieve all over.

They had taken to Cade and Melody like they were their own too. Grandchildren were something neither thought they'd ever get to experience so they seemed to be taking full advantage of. Promises of ice cream and presents had quickly won over Cade and although Melody was still reserved she too was quickly won over. The knock at the open door had me looking up from my packing. 

I looked up to see Hazard in the doorway. For a moment neither of us spoke. He'd become quieter and more distant as time went by. The five o'clock shadow covering his jaw and his red eyes told me he wasn't getting much sleep. There was a traitor in the club and he wasn't resting until he found them. It was unfortunate that I wasn't more help to them. Although I knew there was something I needed to remember, I couldn't seem to remember. If you believed the doctors it was my own body's way of protecting itself against the negative memories of what had happened. "Hey." 

"Hey. I just wanted to come say goodbye, the club was going to escort you all out of town but your Pops wasn't having that," he said with a small smile. I wasn't sure my dad would ever be ok with the idea of someone like Hazard but I knew he was grateful for all that he had done for me. Instead of an escort, dad had hired a driving service to take us back home. 

"So...... what's the plan?" "The plan?" I asked, confused. "You know with going home, med school. Your mom said they'd spoken to someone and gotten you clearance to start the program when you were back and settled."  My parents had mentioned me going back to school but I hadn't thought much into it. Besides, I had two kids to take care of now. I couldn't live off of my parents as I had once done. My pride wouldn't allow it. Whether they wanted to admit it or not I wasn't the same girl they had once known. 

"I've always dreamed of being a doctor but I'm not sure that's where I'm meant to be anymore." Ok so I was dropping big hints there but I couldn't help myself. Hazard hadn't mentioned me staying. In fact, when my parents announced that they'd made arrangements for myself and the kids to travel back with them he damn near encouraged it! A change of scenery or something like it would do me good he had mumbled. 

"You'll be great Haven. Once you get home again, things will be back to normal and you'll be able to get back into the swing of things."

And now I was pissed. Did he seriously not want me here? Did I somehow read more into it then I should have? Maybe Hazard would be happy to have me out of the way. He'd never made any promises. None that I can remember at least. "Sure." If I responded with anything else I was liable to scream and throw something at him. 

"Well that's that then. You need help with your stuff or..." "I'll be fine Hazard. You should say goodbye to Cade and Melody, I know they'll miss you." "Yeah," his voice was rough. Well at least there was some emotion when it came to those two even if it was only his tone. "They're in the lobby with my parents."  I turned from facing him and finished zipping up the luggage back that my Mom had brought for me. I was on the verge of tears but I'd be damned if I was going to let that bastard see them. 

"Goodbye Haven." 

Not cupcake or sweets or baby doll or kitten. Haven. 

Reality sank in and I finally realized this was him saying goodbye. He wasn't going to scoop me up and throw me on the back of his bike. There wouldn't be any confessions of how  he was never letting me go and I was his forever. This was goodbye and while it was killing me he seemed unaffected.