Intimacy

[6.] Fool In Love

<Mount Airy,Philadelphia, November 22nd; 11:58:59 P.M.>

Samantha's House

"Mama, don't judge me now...I'm not trying to hurt you....I know this won't make you proud.......
Papa, did I let you down?...Are you ashamed of how your little girl turned out?"--Rihanna

I parked in front of my mom's house and I sat there. . Feeling like I deserve better. . Wishing I never met them, wishing I could start all over. . I didn't have no one else to talk to about my problems other then the one above. I lean onto the steering wheel and I prayed silently to myself. Once I was done, I walked onto my mom's porch, knocking on the door. Waiting at least for 2 minutes, my mom finally opened up the door while London was peacefully sleeping on her shoulder.

"Shh.. The baby is sleep, as well as Kobe." She told me, letting me in.

"Did they eat ?" I asked her, as I sat on the couch.

"Of course, I made them some sweet peas, turkey topped with creamy gravy and cornbread, a small piece though. There's still more in the kitchen if you were hungry." She told me.

"No, I'm ok mama, I actually stopped and ate something on my way here." I said, sounding a little upset.

"Honey, what's wrong ? What made you come back to philly ? Something happened?" She asked, putting London in her crib.

I then began to get emotional.

"Mama, I've been through a lot, the break up between Nicholas and I , raising London and Kobe all by myself, not having anywhere for my kids and I to sleep at, been abused, lost my job,it's been a lot . . I need you to be by my side mama, I can't have any negative activity in my life anymore." I began to cry.

"Simone, calm down honey," she got closer to me, hugging me tight into her arms," as much as I want to say my favorite phrase, I know it will upset you even more . . But SiSi, in order to make things better, you have to be the bigger person, you have to forgive and forget. You know Nicholas loved you dearly and the children. Simone you have to speak to him, try and make things better." My mother told me.

Samantha's POV

As her mother, I wish my daughter the best of luck. When Nicholas told me that he wanted to propose to Simone, of course I said yes. . I was in loved with Nicholas ever since him and Simone met in high school. Simone's my only daughter and then I have two boys, Stephen and Sebastian. I just wish Simone and Nicholas would work it out and get back together. They were perfect together and still can be.

"Mama, I can't." I told her.

"And why can't you Simone. Yes Nicholas hurt you but I'm sure he didn't mean it. Nicholas deserves a woman like you." She told me, trying to persuade me to talk to him.

"Yeah, until he canceled our wedding for that b*t—," I stopped, "that chick, Angie!" I said told her.

"Simone, I know how you feel but you can't hold a grudge forever. Give that man a chance." She begged me.

"Mama, why is it so important to you ?" I asked, getting a little smart.

"Important to me? If you want to get technical. . You the one who needs him! Not me ! So don't you dare give me that tone ever again. I'm your mother, not one of your girlfriends!" She yelled at me.

"So what you trying to say, I need a man in order to take care of me?!" I felt offended.

"Look, ever since you and Nicholas broke it off, you stopped coming to church, you stopped your singing career, stopped your hair business, you stopped coming around for family dinners, you've stopped a lot all because of that man . So yes, without him, you're not yourself. Then that other man, Lamar,didn't you want another baby and he didn't?" My mother asked me.

"Mama, please , don't bring that up ." I got emotional again.

When Lamar and I got back together, I ended up pregnant again. . I wanted another child but he didn't. I was going on to 4 months and had got an abortion. Ever since, I've been emotional about my loss and ever since then , Lamar changed and began to put his hands on me.

"No Simone! You need to listen! Now, I told your ass that you shouldn't go back to him but you didn't listen ! I never liked that man and I still don't. . You're too good for him—" she said, wanting to continue but got cut off.

"Ard, that's enough ! I get it ! I admit it ! I was a fool! Happy ?!? I didn't know! I can't tell the difference between a game or true love ! I've been hurt twice by two men who's the father of my children. I'm sorry mama , I should've listened." I started to break down in tears.

"Stop crying." She said, feeling bad, "it's not your fault, everyone's a fool once in a while, but you have to fix this problem by talking to Nicholas, trust me Simone, I know what I'm doing, I'm your mother. . Just give him another chance." She said once again.

I looked at her. . Should I trust her on this one ?

"For me? For the kids?" She looked at me, begging for me to talk to him.

I went upstairs, trying to avoid her question. . I mean, should I ?