Shattered Love | Scorch Trials

Despair

  I know I'm alive when a wave of nausea hits me right in the stomach. I quickly sit up and hunch over, coughing up nothing but some water and a granola bar. My muscles creak and ache like an old rocking chair.

  I slowly open my eyes to the sickening green lit room around me. My vision is fuzzy and my head pounds like hell. I wipe my mouth and tuck my sweaty hair behind my ears that is sticking to my forehead. I moan at each movement as it sends a soreness through all my joints.

  My hair is filled with crusty, dried blood, covering my entire head from the beats and blows. Scars line my sides.

  I rest by back against the cold wall, enjoying the coolness. No heat, safe from the sun. It's lovely.

  Until the door opens.

  "Oh my God, Olivia," Aris practically jumps towards me, landing next to my side and wrapping his arms around me.

  "Don't you dare touch me!" I yell, using every ounce of strength to push him away from me. But his arms are tightly around me. I dig my nails into his skin.

  "I just want to know that you're okay." He whispers in my ear, kissing the side of my head. Who does he think he is?

  I finally manage to get him away from me.

  "Okay? I'm not okay! I'll never be okay!" I say, using my eyes to shoot daggers into his.

  "Olivia please, I can explain–" He says, taken aback by my reaction.

  "Explain what? What is there to explain Aris?" I say, despair filling my chest as I rise to my feet.

  Sonya appears on the other side of him. "Olivia, take it easy. Calm down and we'll explain."

  I turn to her. "Tell me to calm down one more time. I dare you." I spit out, making my way towards her. "Say it again!" I yell.

  Someone slams me against the wall, sending new waves of nausea and pain through my body. But I clench my teeth and look into Aris' eyes, centimeters from mine. His hot breath is on my nose and my arms are pinned above my head.

  "Listen, Olivia. You're alive because of us. If we didn't do this to you, they would've put a real bullet in your head." He says.

  I break eye contact and look at Sonya, her arm has black lettering on it. The Betrayer.

  "You betrayed me," I say, looking back at Aris. "To save me?"

  Something washes over his eyes, relief? I can't tell.

  "Yes, yes Olivia please understand."

  But he still betrayed me. His words, kissing Sonya in front of me, abusing me. I can't just let that go. He broke my heart, stomped on it, and then kicked it away. You can't forgive that so easily.

  I bite my trembling lip to hide my sadness, replacing it with anger. "Let go of me before I snap your neck." I warn.

  Tears line the bottom of his eyes, slowly running down his face as he releases me. I regain my balance and brush past him. He grabs my wrist, turning me back towards him.

  "Olivia! Please. Please, I love you. I just did this to keep you alive!" He begs.

  I say nothing, just stare at him.

  "We care about you Olivia." Sonya says.

  A single tear falls from my eye.

  "Fine. You may never forgive me, and that will hurt me every day. But please, Olivia, please remember that you're everything I ever wanted. And if you continue to hate me, I...I won't be able to live with myself." He cries out, words shaking.

  I shake my head and look at the ground. "Please. Leave me be." I whisper.

  He unwraps his fingers from my wrist. They tremble as they swing back to his side.

  I wipe my eyes and regain my composure. "How many more days do we have?" I ask.

  "Two days." Sonya responds.

  This hits me like a rock in the head. "How?" I don't even remember where we are going.

  The mountains.

  It's gonna take a whole lot of running to make it to the mountains. But the mountains aren't north...or have I completely lost my sense of direction? I decide to trust Jorge.

  "You were out for a while. Exactly four days. And I haven't slept one bit," Aris says quietly. "I couldn't bear seeing you like that."

  This makes me feel a little better, but I still can't forget what he said. "You're dirt."

  "Where are the others?" I say, thinking of my friends. I want nothing more than Brenda's kindness, Minho's goofiness, and Newt's warmth.

  I can't imagine what Newt must be going through. He's been through so much. Me disappearing in the Maze, going through the Changing, being alone in that room, getting lost in the Underneath.

  I think back to what I remember. Our kiss, our hug, our goodbye. Seeing him depressed in the Maze. Whatever happened to him as a Runner must have been traumatizing. It burned my heart seeing him like that.

  I miss him. This heart break I've endured, it's made me realize that Newt is the only thing that can put the pieces back together.

  Because he is my glue.