Life And After

I'm Fine

"I'm fine" I say
I know I'm not but I'm
Afraid

I'm afraid to tell you

Afraid of the pity
The love
The care

I'm afraid to be a burden

"You're no burden" you say all to easily
I don't know truth from lie

You confused me with your hunting cry
You called for the attack
Now you're holding back
Youre sweet and kind

But in my mind

You're a demon in an angels body
I don't know you anymore

Its hard to understand for you
Its a fear deep within me

I don't control it
It
Controls me

I lash out
I back away

This fear
It has a voice
I do as I'm told

As you know I am the "good girl" that never gets into trouble

I always do as I'm told

No questions asked

"I'm fine" I say
Though
Each day
It hurts a little more
And I feel a little less

Less is best in the world we live in now

So " I'm fine" is all I'll say
I don't want to make you sad today

That's what the fear is telling me

So now I'm not a burden right

I'm losing this fight

I can tell by the way
I come closer each day
To bringing the knife to my skin

Listen to me
Hear my cry

I don't want to burden you
Just listen
I love you
Youre my family
I care so listen to me Tanner

This is for you
I need you
I love you
My brother from another life

Help through this
But don't pity me

I live for you
I'm a burden if I die

I love you
You keep me alive

Tanner
You're special
Don't you forget that

I won't leave without you
---------------------------------------------------

This was written to a dear friend of mine. He keeps me going through the tough times. He doesn't know but he quiets the voice for a little while. He is my angel. I love him. My brother from another life. See you at school, Tanner.