I am so useless
I am so done
I'm done with uselessness
With shame
With anxiety
I am useless in this world
I can't take bring alone
With my thoughts of death
Equaling the best and quickest escape
I know what everyone says
They say I'm nice
They say I'm happy
When in fact
If they saw my thoughts
They would die
They would loose the real them
I have
I'm not nice
I loath myself
I hurt myself
I am useless
I am not happy
I used to be
I'm not anymore
I used to be happy
Not for short lengths of time
But for months at a time
Now
The longest I've been happy
Since grade four
Is
One month
One month is a record I long to break
A record I wish for
I am useless
I don't make myself happy
I don't make others happy
They are the ones that make me smile
I sometimes force it
I am useless to them
They don't understand
I can't handle this feeling of failure
Ask anyone
I can't cope with failing
Loosing
Its all I do
Inside that is
Outside
I excellent
At faking
Acting
Putting on a show
For an audience of
The ones I love
The ones that I know
Think I'm useless
I need to find a way to be useful
Oh well
I can only think of one thing
Die
Leave
No more burden
No more self loathing
No more existence
Only silence and darkness
The two most desired things in the world
I can't go on much longer
I am so useless
I long for too much
To be useful
YOU ARE READING
Life And After
PoetryThis book consists of emotional poetry that has many different meanings to myself. I did write these and I DO NOT give permission for them to be used elsewhere unless you ask me and I approve it. Please read this and do not post mean or hurtful comm...
