puzzle pieces [ x.m.h ]

CHAPTER 17

Days slipped by; soon, an entire week was gone. And I guess somehow, my plan was working. This whole week I have once again become distant and cold, keeping myself separate from any of the Seventeen members. I wanted to refrain from creating any new memories with them. Being cold and distant, ending of with a cold note, will allow me to separate myself from them easily. I retreated back to my shell. Minghao, of course noticed this. He tried. He really tried to coax me out of my shell. As a cold-blooded animal I was, I refused and retreated even further into my shell. The other Seventeen members noticed this too and tried to include me In everything, I tried my best to wriggle out from their grasp and use lame excuses to avoid having any form of interaction with them.

The day before our flight back home, he pulled me aside. "Winter... you're leaving tommorow..."He couldn't continue anymore, he was trying hard to blink and cjoke back his tears. "Minghao, i... we...you know this would happen," I stuttered out. "I'm...I'm sorry. I'm sorry for giving you so many memories. I'm sorry I made this hard for you. Maybe if you forget me, it will be easier. I'll forget you too. Forget everything, you know it's useless trying to keep our memories alive after we separate. It will be a lot easier if you forget everything that happened between us." I felt my vision clouding. Oh crap, please don't let me start crying my heart out now. I tried to sound as cold and heartless as possible, in hopes that I could be the bad guy and that makes it a lot easier for him to throw me out of his memory. I looked everywhere, except at him. I was afraid of what reacton he might give me. And for those few moments he didn't, I felt fear creep into my heart. I hated him for letting me hurt him, I hated myself more for hurting him as if it was nothing. Minghao stared at me for those few moments. Standing up, he looked straight at me and dangerously, in too calm and too soft a tone, he said, " Look! How could you say that? How can you? I treasured you and know you want me to forget. And you too will forget me isnt it? Why? Our memories mean nothing? Whatever I've given you means nothing? I cant and will never forget the memories we had. Why do you have to be like this?" his voice rose by each decibel. I picked up my courage. "This is what I am. I'm not sorry you have to see this side of me. This is who I am. You never really knew me, Minghao. I'm just a heartless animal that will forget the memories that meant a lot to you. I'll keep hurting you." My voice quavered at the end. Before Minghao could say a word, the members burst in.

"Minghao, calm down," Jun and a few others dragged the broken, angry Minghao. His eyes were filled with tears and they flowed down his already pale face. Gina wrapped her arms around me, whispering softly, encouragingly,"It's ok, its ok. You don't have to argue with Minghao right? We can still talk to them; leaving them doesn't mean-" "SHUTUP AND GET OUT OF HERE!" I screamed. I looked round at the remaining members in the room. "I AM WARNING YOU. None of you are to return back here. You may keep in contact with the Seventeen members. But I donot allow you to return to this dormitory. You are not allowed to see hem until three years later. DO YOU HEAR ME?" Gina quickly shooes the rest of the members out,; she knew I was slowly losing it. I was shaken to and fro, Gina holding onto my shoulders trying to shake the sense out of me. "WINTER! You promised; you're not doing this AGAIN! You are not using this tactic!" Gina said firmly. My walls had collasped and I was completely mentally disoriented; I couldn't tell what was true and what was false. I couldn't make out or understand the words Gina was uttering to me.

"You cant hurt others to prevent yourself from hurting," Gina concluded, softly, comforting. This was the only phrase I could actually understand in my poor mental state. I nodded and leaned against her shoulders, feeling her warm embrace; wrapping her arms around my broken-winged soul that was buried deep in me. My wet cheeks pressed against her woollen clothing and I felt the misty dreamy feeling consume me...