Don't Let Me Fall

Chapter 25: Kissing You Goodbye

"Don't let the fear of falling keep you from flying." -Unknown

Pete Maravich once said that "Love never fails, character never quits, and with patience and persistence dreams do come true."

Pistol Pete could play basketball, but I get the idea that he was probably an idiot off the court.

Love never fails.

.

What a joke, and what a lie.

Character never quits.

Sometimes even the greatest character is just an act, a load of bull shit.

With patience and persistence, dreams do come true.

I've worked to go to Baylor since I was eight, but look at me now.

It's stupid how things turn out in life. Something that seems so right takes a turn for the worse. Something that seems awful turns into something beautiful and wonderful. Something that is awful but fixable still stays awful. Something that you aren't expecting flips your world upside down.

I once believed those words with all my heart, but now they couldn't be more wrong.

--------------------

I sat in front of the TV, watching a Miami Heat game. Naomi Eryn Shoey laid in my arms, fast asleep. Basketball games put her out like a light, especially when the Lakers play. Maybe she wasn't going to have the same interest I have in basketball. Maybe she just thinks the Lakers really suck, and has no interest watching them play, like me.

I heard a quiet knock on the door. I wasn't even sure if it was a knock, but I got up anyway. I stood up then held Naomi out for my dad who looked exhausted.

"I'm not changing another diaper, do it yourself."

"She's your kid, you do realize that right?"

"I know, but she's your sister, and I feel that since your gonna be going off to college, you should do your time now."

"I just need you to hold her so I can get the door."

And she needs her diaper changed, I thought to myself.

I went to the door, then swung it open. Not who I was expecting, not that I really was expecting anyone in particular.

Jaxon Duncan.

"Wow, here so soon? I wasn't expecting you for another three weeks." I felt like shutting the door in his face, but then realized my dad would start asking questions. The lord knows you don't want my dad asking questions, especially about something personal because he will figure out what he wants, he always finds out.

"What do you want?" I asked probably a little to rudely.

"Can we talk?" He whispered.

I started picking at the side of my finger, something I do when I get nervous. I stared at the ground, thinking.

"Fine."

"Privately?"

I sigh.

"Dad, I'm gonna talk to Jaxon for a sec."

I imagined my dad rolling his eyes like he always does whenever I mention something or talk about Jaxon.

I stepped outside the house, the spring air warm and moist. I didn't ask where we were going, I already knew. It was a place we hadn't been to since last fall. It was a place that I spent most of my summers at, a place that had become our place. We walked in silence, neither of us knowing what to say, or wanting to talk. I recognized a large boulder that had moss growing on it. This means we're close to the spot. The spot that started it all, and possibly the spot that was going to end it all.

I remember back to a time that seems like centuries ago. A time when everything seemed so perfect, like it was never going to change. The first time he said it. I love you.

"Why are you acting like this?" Jaxon said probably to loudly, his booming voice echoing through the trees.

"Like what?" I said, acting like I didn't know what he was talking about, even though I clearly did know.

"You're acting like it's my fault!" He yelled at me.

"Well it kind of is." I simply replied.

He rolled his eyes, then leaned back against a tree.

"Oh, its my fault that she kissed me?"

I caught them kissing right by my locker. It was almost like he wanted me to see them.

"No. It's your fault you kissed her back." I clenched my hands into fists, my body overflowing with anger.

"You know, I really should of expected this from a guy like you."

"I didn't even kiss her back!" He sounded shocked, even though I knew the truth.

"Here." I began taking off his football jersey. It was the first game, and the first time I'd worn it. That lasted a long time. I tossed the jersey to him.

All I had under it was a bra. He examined me for a moment, even though there wasn't much to examine.

He quickly tossed it back.

"Jesus Sam, put some clothes on."

"If you would of stuck around long enough, you would of noticed that I pushed her off of me right away. If you would of waited, you would of realized I came chasing after you."

I didn't know what to believe at that point.

"Jordan Dunlap is a whore. Everyone knows it, and you should know to. She's also a bitch that would stop at nothing to put an end to whatever this is." I took notice of his hand gestures, something he does when he's trying to make a point.

I didn't answer him, and began slipping the jersey back on. He sighed.

"I love you."

I opened my mouth, but no words escape.

"Samantha Marie Shoey, I love you. There, whatever." He said it as if it was nothing, like he'd said it a million times.

"What's happening right now?" I said, still unsure.

"I've loved you ever since Freshman year when you body slammed into me at a basketball game and my popcorn went all over the floor, then you told me to watch where I was going. That's when I knew that you had to be mine. That's when I knew."

I snapped out of the flashback. I didn't even realize I was in. We'd stopped walking, and were at the spot. I stepped over a fallen limb to examine a tree. It was 'The Tree'. I pealed back some dried up dead across the lettering. Underneath were the words SS+ JD Forever carved deeply into the bark of the tree. I ran my fingers over the letters.

I could sense Jaxon's eyes on my back, but I didn't turn around.

"Is that the tree?" He asked.

I didn't say anything, because he and I both knew it.

I got the feeling he was trying to steer clear of what he needed to say by making small talk about nothing.

When no one said anything for awhile, I finally turned to face him. I thought for a moment that I saw a tear, but didn't study his face long enough to confirm.

"Are you going to give me answers or not?"

He took a jagged breath, almost like he had something caught in his throat.

"I am, but first I want you to know that I love you, and always will."

He took a step towards me, then wrapped his arm around my waist. He placed his other hand on my jaw, then his lips on mine. He seemed gentle, suspiciously gentle. I attempted to look into his eyes, but they were staring at the forest floor. There was a single tear running down his cheek. It took me a moment to realize what was happening.

This was a goodbye kiss.

Author's Note

Ok I am sad to tell you that this is the first part to the very last chapter :( I know I know. If you'd like me to write another book, please tell me! Thank you for sticking with this story!