The Real Reason.

this story.

There is one story that I have been putting off. I don't like telling this one but I feel I should say this.

I am terrified to sleep, dream and to be anywhere near the window's or doors at night. I am scared out of my mind to go to sleep without a heavy wooden spoon in my hand as silly as that sounds. It's completely true. I only get a couple hours a sleep a night.

The reason for this isn't because of some crazy childhood fear of clowns that would eat me In my sleep or anything. I was and still am scared because of what he did to me after the trial had gone down, after the whole thing had blown over and he had gotten his stupid punishment.

I lived two houses down from him and that made me scared enough. I was always paranoid of what he would possibly do because I was stupid and I told my mother that he had touched me in ways I didn't like. I was stupid for telling and at that time I knew that and I still do.

At first it was just tiny rocks being thrown at my window or hearing loud screaming out the house. It was easy to sleep in that condition but that doesn't mean I ever did. Then it was like he felt he needed to up his game, like he needed to truely scare me.

The first time I was truely scared was when his sister stopped outside my house and honked her car as she repeatedly cursed me out, an 7 year old and told me how I was such a lying b**** and other nasty word so really don't want to repeat.

There was one night that got me the worst, the one that changed me so much. It was so terrifying.

I was 13 Years old and my mother had taken my family to her boyfriends house while my brother was out with at his friends house. It was beginning to turn dark and they all said they would be home soon, whithin the hour at least. I was in my room and I had gotten up to get a glass of water. If I would have known I would have never left.

I walked to the kitchen and filled my glass when there was a knock at the window. It scared me and I dropped the plastic cup into the sink before looking at the window. I swear my heartstopped. He was at the window and so was his mother and sister. They just looked threw them and cursed and banged on the window's and doors. They pulled on the handle and knocked on the door while screaming for me to get my butt out there and how I deserved what he had done to me. To this day I still believe it and I don't think I never will be able to not.

It felt like days as they pounded and screamed at the front of the house. I ran to the other side of the kitchen, curled into a ball and cried as they screamed and cursed. Just thinking of this scares me to a new level.

They left after twenty minutes and a few later my mother showed up. I ran to my room and locked myself in there, I was way to scared. I never really told anyone besides my best friend. But i guess I'm telling you all now.

I don't have a main point for this one. I just want you to all know that you shouldn't be scared to share your story, tell people who you really believe will help and don't cower away. Fight back with all you got and try your hardest every day. At least, thats all we can hope really.

Till next time lovely people. :)