The Real Reason.

It'll be alright.

Two days ago I hit my point. The point where all you can really do is stare at the wall and walk around just answering with "yes" or "no". I will admit that I didn't mind being numb to the usual pain I feel everyday, all the broken promises and empty childhood memories.

While I was in the mix of this numbness I took the blade to my skin.... More times than I can honestly count. I just started and I couldn't stop.

Thankfully I didn't cut anything major or too much. But my wrist and thigh are well cut down. But anyways that isn't the point.

Two nights ago I contemplated and almost attempted suicide. This is no joke and honestly this is not for attention. I want people out there to realize that suicide isn't a joke. It is a serious thing and you shouldn't think of it.

Don't listen to people who say it's tragically beautiful or it's a cowards way out of life, it's not. Suicide is, to me anyways, simply a person who has just been strong for too long. Suicide is a way for someone who has been strong for far to long to finally get the peace they want. But it isn't the right answer. It never is.

You go through with it imagine all the things you won't be able to do. Get your first real love, get your first tattoo or even drink your first beer. You won't be able to get a job and have a family and prove how strong you are to those who hurt you. Most of all you won't be able to show your future family how you won the battle and you beat those demons.

Just keep in mind next time when you reach for it all to end that your future has brightness and how can you see the brightness if you let the darkness win?

So, goodbye for now all you beautiful people and remember to stay strong. :)

P.s. I'm here if you need to ever talk! I will not judge and I am always willing to help. :)