Cruel Reality [B1A4 Fanfic]

The Solace

Chris' POV

My heart broke when I saw her crying.
"Chris." She cried out.
I wanted to hug her. To reassure her but I can't.
Chloe sat next to me.
We let her cry for full 10 minutes. She kept on saying how much she missed them. How she wanted to tell them many things.
Seeing her like that crushed my heart. She was a strong girl but now...
Suddenly a video played from Chloe's broken laptop.
I nudged her and she tried to stop the video but the laptop wouldn't work.
"Aish." I said and got up. "Just take the battery ou--" "Wait." Julie cut me off.
She sniffed. "C-can you show me that video?"
"This? Oh it's just kpop, you don't hav--"
"Just please tell me the title." She said cutting me off again.
"Uh.. It's "I Am A Candle In Front Of You" by Sandeul from the Immortal Songs 2."
She sniffed again as she typed on her auntie's computer.
We watched her as she silently watched the clip.

"...I told my aunt I was going to be famous one day..."

I heard Sandeul's shaky voice from the video. I get it now. She must've heard his intro about his aunt. I forgot that she understood korean.

We couldn't see her face because her phone was turned to the monitor but we clearly hear her sniffs.

"..Like the lyrics, they're words I want to say to my aunt."

Somewhere in the middle of the song, Julie stopped crying.
She faced us.
"Sorry 'bout that. I.. I gotta go." She said getting up.
"Where are you going?" Chloe asked
"To school."
"What?" Chloe and I asked in unison. Out of the blue? What was she thinking?

Julie's POV

I dropped Yoora off to the daycare and hurried to school. I glanced at my watch. 8:50am. I've got 10 minutes to spare.

I barely sat on my chair before the bell rang for 3rd period.
Everyone broke into shushed whispers when I went in.

Class was okay, as usual.
Daph, Ash and Carl talked to me as they usually do.
Class was dismissed as it was usually done.
But Jay never came. Jay always walked home with me.
Jay always waited for me by the gate.
I blinked back tears.
Why did I go to school again? I wanted to surpass this pain. To be strong.
'His' song gave me strength. It gave me hope.

"I dearly love you. I alone won't forget."

I won't forget all my parents hardwork for me.
All the things imo and samchon provided for me.
I sighed as I walked home alone.
The song was still playing in my head as I made my way home.

***
"Mama." Yoora cried. I comforted her but felt really bad for the kid. She must miss her mother dearly.
I suddenly remembered the things they left.

I silently opened the box as Yoora slept soundly.
The first thing I saw was a wrapped box. I decided to open it for later.
Jay's singed jacket still smelled a bit like his shampoo. Blueberry mint. It was a weird smell for a guy but Jay really loved it.
I clutched the broken watch that used to be on Kevin's wrist.
I felt a slight pinch in my heart but nothing else. No tears, no emotions.
I didn't really care that it was abnormal for a person not to feel anything, I was grateful to this numbness. No pain, no worries, no seizures.

I opened the dirty well-wrapped box and I lost my breath for a second.
It was a beautiful camera. A Canon EOS-1D X.
I creased my forehead. I should be feeling very emotional by now, but no feelings came.
I suddenly felt guilty and relieved at the same time.
Guilty that I wasn't that grateful than I should've that this camera was saved and relieved that I wasn't entirely crazy because I still have emotions such as guilt.
I noticed a small card attached to the wrapper that I carefully folded to make sure it doesn't get destroyed.