Looking for true love

Chapter 22

'I..I had no idea you were feeling this way Richie... I don't know what to say..', Patrick was overwhelmed. Richie still was not over him. He had feelings for him. How long was he feeling this way? What does it mean?

Richie shook his head. 'You don't have to say anything. This wasn't a big declaration and it's not like I want you back...You asked me what I told Brady...and this was me just answering..ok?'

'Yeah.I guess... god, I'm just still shocked. I'm sorry.', Patrick paused for a second. ' Richie, We've been friends for such a long time..why didn't you..'

'Why didn't I say something?'

'Well yeah..'

'Patrick..Yes.. I'm still not over you. But there was no point in telling you.. When we first broke up I wanted to forget you and  meet someone else. I didn't think we are compatible. It just became so hard between us', you know?.And then.. I met Brady..and I genuinely thought I could move on with him. And when you told me About hooking up with Kevin when we were still together', Richie stared at Patrick's eyes. 'that's when I knew for sure that there's no chance for us again..even if I still wanted you..I knew I couldn't get pass that...That was..hard. you hurt me. I didn't show it to you when you told me but I was a fucking mess after your confession. I couldn't understand how you could be with him like that when we were still together..I mean you are a good guy.. how could you just throw away everything we had for an unavailable guy, who you barely even mentioned to me when we were together.. i just couldn't understand how did you guys get together like that..out of the blue. I still don't get it Patrick..',

'Hmmm...it actually caught me by surprise too...I'm not going to lie. I was attracted to him from the first moment we met, which was before me and you...before we started dating. And when I realized he was unavailable and that he was my boss I knew that nothing can happen with him..and that night, when something did happen..that was a complete surprise to me. I had no idea he was thinking of me that way..'

'So HE came on to you?'

'Hmmm..yes..but yes.. I should have stopped him..I was weak... I actually did stop him at first when he kissed me at my sister's wedding...but when he kissed me again at work I...wasn't able to stop..Things were unclear with you and I just gave in to...'

'I see..', Richie shook his head. 'Wait..so he came on to you twice? He kissed you at your sister's wedding? What was he doing there?'

'His ex boyfriend is a friend of my sister's husband.I wasn't expecting to see him there....'

They both looked at eachother. Clearly reliving that day. Each of them remembering the fight they had.

'I'm just..So he was there with his boyfriend and he still came on to you?'

'Hmm..yes. But he was drunk.'

'Come on..being drunk is not an excuse Patrick... that man is...Fuck..You both had boyfriends Patrick.how could he do that...now I wish I could turn back time and come with you to that wedding..'

'Richie look..lets leave Kevin out of this. Yes he came on to me but I can't blame it on him. I'm a grown up and I'm responsible for my actions. Ok? I'm so sorry Richie..I hope you know I never meant to hurt you...we just got carried away', Patrick looked away for a moment and sighed. 'Richie..there's something I don't quite understand..if you still had feelings for me and you were upset about Kevin and me.. then why were you my friend for so long?'

'I asked myself that too. Alot. And.. I honestly don't know... I was disappointed in you but I still prefered having you in my life even as a friend. i was not ready to cut you off completely..'