Online Relationship

Chapter Fourteen: A Bad Day

Day two in Portugal and I want to stay in the bed. I was woken up by my sister telling me we are going for a walk. Me being as unfit as I am don't want to go far a walk but I have no choice.

I look in my suitcase and take out a denim tank top, Blue jegging and my purple & black checkered top and my accessories bag.

I cleansed myself and got dressed. Before brushing my hair I did my make up which consisted of eyeliner, Eyeshadow, Eyebrow pencil and lip butter. I then put my accessories on which consisted of a choker with my charm, my mood necklace, my ying-yang necklace and a braclet.

I brushed my hair, put my bandana on and was ready to take on the day.

Once everyone was ready we went for a walk trying to find either shops or the beach. We kept walking and walking and didn't know where we were. The only think that kept me entertain was my music.

Do you do do you remember when we drove we drove drove through the night and we danced we danced....

And I was literally dancing. I love this song

You were the song stuck in my head
Every song i've ever loved
Played again and again and again
And you can keep what you want
But it's never enough
And I'll spin for you like your favourite records used to.....

I love fall out boy. There songs really connect with me. My mum decided we go back since we really didn't know where we were going. Since the reception wasn't open we will ask tomorrow.

****

Wish we could turn back time
To the good old days
when our mumma sang us to sleep but now We're stressed out.

I found out the reception area has wifi! But the message I recieved upset me.

Twin: Fly away you three legged donkey

She is basically telling me to go away. I call her my twin because she was the only one of my cousins who stood by my side when noone was there for me but now.... I'm alone in my family. I feel like I have no Ohana....

I deleted the message but then regretted it. I should have shown my mum but I didn't want to be a tattle tale. To be honest this really has been a bad day.

You're probably wondering why my family hate me. It's because I confessed about something that had been going on between my cousin and I. Not my "Twin" Just to clarify. So I confessed but was supposed to be the one who was lying. So now I don't know what to do with myself.

Christmas isn't that far away and every year my family joins together for a huge christmas party.... I don't want to go but have no choice.

I lay on my uncomfortable hotel bed listening to my "Sad :c" Playlist. It's a playlist of songs to play when I am sad.

I wouldn't hold my breath if I was you
Cause i'll forget but i'll never forgive you
Don't you know, Don't you know
True friends stab you in the front...

Sometimes I do wonder who my true friends are. I think about Shauna. I love shauna but she never replies my messages. I know that makes me sound needy but I need a friend who will support me when my family doesn't. I thought Shauna would be thay friend. She is getting better at replying but at school it's different. I feel like I can't talk to her for some reason. I just feel like everyone secretly judges me and I don't know what to do.

I hear Bring Me fade out and try to get myself to sleep. I need to stop my thoughts.... Before I kill myself.

These scars on your wrist are the mark of the world
And ocean that's left you so torn....