Torn Without You... (Niall Horan fanfic)

I Love you

That sleepover at the boys' flat was sooo fun! We did it again plenty of times after that! We even crashed there after the big New Years' Party we recently had. That party was siiiiiiick! Louis sure knows how to plan a party!  Haha, yea that's right. He did all the leg work, and a great job at it too! On May 28th, 2014 this year, Niall and I just made our one-year anniversery. A few months before, in October we confirmed it to all of the fans. When Niall kept tweeting pictures of me, and us: shopping, parting, hanging with our friends, and even eating, the fans became more and more supportive by the minute! I guess they saw how happy we were. We really are! .....But of course, there are some "Directioners," and "Niall girls," who hate my guts. As many sweet and supportive fans there are, there are just as many disrespectful, rude, and hurtful fans. "Well, they're not my fans if they can't support our relationship," as Niall always tells me, hurt. "Their more like, as our true fans call them... Directionators." 

There are so, many "Nilah" haters. :) "Nilah" is our ship name, Niall actually made it up, and It quickly became a trend on twitter. But due to the hurtful comments, that make me cry almost every time I got on twitter, he forced himself to take action. He asked me for my twitter password so that he could keep track of everything the fans said to me, and comment back to them. Begging them to stop. All of their comments were things like "you ugly whore," or "You fucking slut, how dare you even think your good enough for Niall." Some even said that I deserve to die, and some were threats saying that they would kill me. Most of my life I've struggled with people telling me I was too skinny, or that I looked anorexic. But having some of the fans tell me that too, just makes it hurt even more. They do a great job at making me feel like I'm unwanted, and that makes my boyfriend very angry.

Every time I was on Twitter I was either crying my eyes out, defending myself, or thanking the other Directioners for their love and support. Its bad enough I can pick at least 20 things to hate about myself, but these girls point out things that I haven't even thought about. These girls take it too far. But with all of the hate, their is plenty of love to overcome it. Between the chemistry of Niall and I, and the love of my friends, its enough to help me keep my head up. But It is very hard, and some days I become more depressed than others. But I try to at least look, happy. Just for Niall's sake. As much as this has affected me, it has affected him too. He's always really defensive of me whenever we run into fans in the street, and is always feeling really depressed when he catches me crying. So I try my best to hide my dismay, behind a smile. It's something I've done before. So it was nothing new. 

Niall Horan has made me happy in so many ways, you could not imagine. He has brightened up my life, when It feels like I'm drowning, in a storm of my own sorrows. He has became one of my best friends, and is the best boyfriend. For that I owe it to him. He promised me that we would get through this together. So together we'll keep our relationship from sinking in this violent storm. Together we will stay strong.

                                                                              ****

It's mid-June and I just finished my first year at West Thames college, to become a professional makeup artist. I know, I'm a bit young to be in college but, my birthday's in July, and I skipped a grade in high school. That's how I met Miya, and Jenny. They were sophomores when I was a Freshman. Miya is in college to become a veterinarian for cats & dogs, and Jenny is in college for music. She is studying music, so that she can open up her own studio to be a recorder, for up-coming bands and singers. 

"Babe, guess what!" said my boyfriend, as he dipped a strawberry into a pot of chocolate fondue.

"What?" I giggled, as I sat next to him on the couch.

"I have a surprise for your biiiirthdaaay," he almost sung.

"I told you I didn't want anything," I laughed, as he dabbed chocolate sauce on my nose. "I just want to spend it with you."