The Ghost of You is Close to Me \\ Joshler

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It started in the cemetery, just like every night, except that this night wasn't like the others, this one was happier, it seemed that way at least.

"I love you," Tyler whispered, his throat choking around the word.

That was the first time he willingly looked away from the stars to stare at Josh, finding him staring up at the night sky blankly. He looked back at Tyler and his eyes looked so apologetic, so sad for Tyler, but that wasn't what Tyler paid attention to. He only noticed the way Josh's lips formed around the word 'sorry'.

"That's okay," Tyler mumbled, looking back up to the sky.

It was silent between them and usually at this point Tyler would have noticed the chill that ran through his body and he'd scoot over and curl into Josh but not tonight, because tonight he knew that Josh didn't feel the same.

"I'm just gonna go," Tyler finally whispered, the sadness so evident in his voice and the way he carried himself. It didn't take long for Josh to catch on.

"What, you're mad that I didn't say it back?" Josh asked incredulously, sitting up and turning to stare at Tyler's back. Tyler seemed to visibly shrink, his shoulders hunching over as he flinched at the words.

"I'm not mad," Tyler said and he dropped his head to look at the grass.

"Then what the fuck, why are you leaving?" Josh asked, standing up and taking a step towards Tyler.

Tyler flinched again and turned to look at Josh, dropping his eyes when he saw the look of anger on Josh's face. He took a step back again as Josh advanced towards him.

"The last time we hung out and messed around you didn't have a problem that I didn't love you," Josh explained, growing more frustrated that Tyler was evading his advances.

"The last time I didn't know," Tyler shouted, finally looking up at Josh and he had tried so hard to keep from crying but it was no use, he looked at Josh and still felt the same love he had ten minutes ago but now he saw that it wasn't returned and that hurt him most of all.

"Fucks sake, Tyler, you don't need to go and get fucking upset about this, we were just messing around, didn't know that I had to fall for you," Josh yelled back, folding his arms over his chest. Tyler looked away, his eyes gazing just past Josh's head. They were still watery and every emotion in his head was plainly written in his eyes.

"You would've beat the moon in a pretty contest, the moon just happened to be the first thing that I missed," Tyler started, his eyes shifting to Josh's then, "But you aren't the moon anymore, the moon has sunk and all that's left is a starless sky."

Josh was speechless for a moment, his voice barely above a whisper when he finally spoke up.

"At least I wasn't the one who sat on a statue just to avenge a dead sister."

The words were a low blow, brutal, uncalled for, but they were said and there was no taking them back. In that moment, Josh didn't even regret it. Tyler nodded once, a small smile on his face.

"Knew you couldn't have been as great as I thought you were," Tyler whispered, his smile growing before he laughed at himself, "Fucking great, Tyler."

He turned and left then, leaving Josh standing there by himself. Tyler was almost out of the cemetery before he heard Josh shout at him.

"I never fucking cared about you anyway!"

~~~

Tyler skipped school the next day.

He would have lied to his mom about being sick, making up an excuse about throwing up but he didn't really need it.

The very thought of going to school and sitting for an hour in the same room as Josh was enough to have him in the bathroom and bent over the toilet.