Just Friends. (A falling in love with my best friend story)

Chapter 8: Glimpse of the past

  Genna's POV:

To be able to adjust quickly or move on easily was something I was never good at. I figured, if people just pushed aside their emotions, they'd still be there; slowly torturing them on the inside. But if you were to feel the emotion while you had it, and let it consume you, then once you got through that, you could get on with your life. In one of my favorite books, there's a quote that says "That's the thing about pain...it demands to be felt." I know what that feels like.

        "Genevieve, are you planning on getting up anytime soon?" I heard Mary's (Parker's mom) voice from upstairs. I opened my eyes and realized I was tangled up in my blanket in the middle of the basement floor. Parker wasn't next to me anymore, but I noticed he had put one of his pillows from his bedroom underneath me. I sat up and walked upstairs, and the smell of coffee hit my nose. A wave of nostalgia washed over me as I remembered how dad never failed to make coffee for us. Even though I just left yesterday.

He must've leaked that to Mary because she had a cup for me set on the table. I thanked her quietly and started to pour in the creamer and sugar that were on the table, across from Wes (Parker's dad). They told me that the number one rule of living here was that until I was comfortable calling them mom or dad, I was to call them by their first names, since they didn't want any of that "mr. or mrs." stuff. Hey, whatever floated their boat.

        "Well, you're at least up before Parker. I think when I woke him up to come upstairs, he simply got up from the floor and walked into his bedroom and went straight to sleep." She said, smiling. I nodded.

        "Genna, I'm never sleeping on the floor again." Parker's voice whined from behind me as he pulled up a chair next to me. I shrugged as if to say "Your fault" and took a drink.

I was never talkative in the morning. Well, I was never talkative period. I stared into my coffee cup, swirling it slightly and watched the cream get mixed in, turning it a lighter color. I looked up to see three concerned faces looking at me. They must've been trying to say something.

        "Hm?" I asked.

        "I just wanted to know if you would like to go school shopping tomorrow." Mary said. I nodded. I must've said the right thing or something because she broke into a big smile.

        "Great!" She said.

***

I spent the afternoon moving stuff into my room. It didn't smell that badly of paint because apparently his parents had gotten some type of machine that could air out the room and get rid of the smell. I could still faintly smell it, but I didn't mind. After I was done, Mary had me come upstairs and eat some weird concoction of hers that she said was completely vegetarian. I knew it was because I was able to finish it. If there was meat or fish in it, I would've instantly thrown up.

It was surely something I've never had before, but it was food and it tasted fine to me, so it was good. She practically glowed with pride. When I told her I enjoyed it.

Now I was sitting on my spinny chair, taking stuff from my electronics box and hooking up cords into the outlet behind my desk and setting stuff on my desk.

At the bottom of the box, was my mother's diary. I reached for it, but pulled my hand back. I must've put it in there by mistake instead of putting it with my books. Should I read it?

Well of course I was supposed to, otherwise dad wouldn't have given it to me. But I was nervous to. I was afraid of how this would make me feel. If I would feel happy and comforted or if I would feel aching and pain.

I took the book and set it right next to the picture of me and her on my bedside table. Well, actually my new bedside table. The movers had dropped it so they offered to replace it with a new one. I liked this one better because the old one's drawer didn't work.

        "All settled in?" Wes's voice came from the doorway.

His dad wasn't extremely social, and didn't like to talk or speak out much. But he was kind and had a nice smile. He seemed to be content just sitting there and watching all the action instead of being in the midst of the action.

        "Yeah." I said. He nodded at my picture.

        "Me and your mother were best friends in highschool. I was one of her confidants, I suppose you could say. Her and my twin brother, and my highschool sweetheart, Lydia." He said, a faraway look on his face.

Eager to hear more about my mom, I crossed my legs and paid full attention to what he was saying.

        "Yeah?" I asked. He seemed a bit taken aback by my sudden attention, but he continued anyway, staring around my room while he did it so he wouldn't have to meet my eyes.

        "Yes. She...I couldn't really describe her if I tried, Genna. She was a fierce friend who cared the world for me, as I for her. The fact that we've remained close until this point is amazing, and not many know this, but she actually saved Warren, my brother from suicide a long time ago." He said.

I've met Warren, and I loved him alot. He was a crazy uncle to me who was too flamboyant for his own good, but I liked that. I didn't realize that he had tried suicide. I suppose some people really don't show pain.

        "She sounds so amazing when she was my age." I said. He smiled bitterly at me.

        "I'm not sure if you would've been able to stand her in her highschool years. God knows how we did. She was certainly headstrong, and knew how to keep us on our toes. She's definitely a lot more mature now than she was back then." He said. A small smile made it's way to my face. He looked up at the ceiling and sighed quietly, as if he knew she was there, then he turned to go. But before he did he looked over his shoulder to me.

        "You remind me so much of her." He said quietly.

This was the second time I've heard that coming from someone close to her. I really wished I'd kept her around long enough to find out who she was really like. I'd rather much talk about what she was like with her, but then again, I wouldn't be able to get as good as a view on what she was like from just her. I looked at the picture and felt tears come to my eyes.

I remembered what my dad said about me being more like her than I thought. I wondered what that meant.

I shut off my light and lay down, covering myself with my comforter. Thinking of how much I needed her now.