Just Friends. (A falling in love with my best friend story)

Chapter 5: Relapse

 Genna's POV:

I woke up to hearing a loud rainstorm pounding against my windows. I remember vaguely wanting to go back to bed yesterday after we came home from breakfast, so I did and now I was awake from that. Judging the fact that it was like, four in the afternoon yesterday when I woke both me and Parker up with my screams, I really didn't sleep that long. I could tell it was still really early.

I sat up and looked around my room, and judging by the fact that there was no sleeping teenage boy anywhere in here, he must be at home. I turned my head to turn on my lamp but stopped short. The picture of me and mom was turned upwards, facing me. I jammed on my glasses and took the picture in both hands, sitting up and staring at it.

Mom was gazing down at me lovingly as she held me in her arms, both of us in matching plaid shirts, me barely one. The picture was in black and white, but I still remember the exact color of her black hair, and bright gray eyes that I shared. She told me that when she was a teenager, she had brown eyes but then somehow they turned gray. I didn't believe her until she showed me pictures of her and dad when they were teenagers. She told me that he even used to be famous as a teenager. I highly doubted that as well until she played me albums and stuff.

Tears threatened to spill as my throat closed up. It was so painful to look at, but more painful to look away. Mom still looked like that the last time I saw her, because I swear to God she knew how to age right. 

I started crying, watching tears splatter onto the picture, and onto my red nail-polish painted thumbs. Images flashed through my mind of me growing up with her. I was always a mommy's girl. I still am.

The aching feeling was stronger than ever and yesterday's food threatened to come up. I needed to get outside. I was still in my shoes so I wordlessly got up and pulled open the drawer of my nightstand, taking my weapon out from the corner. I was having a relapse. I needed a relapse.

I walked downstairs, and through the living room and through the front door, shutting it behind me quietly. I then started running towards the park, which was me and mom's favorite place to go as a kid. The memory of her was so strong I could feel her next to me almost, and smell her shampoo as her hair got wet in the rain. I could feel her hand tightly holding mine.

I shook my hand and yelled frustratedly, covering my face and falling to my knees. The pain needed to stop! I pulled down my soaked jacket sleeves and stared at my healed arms. The scars were still faintly there, along with bruises, bite marks and faint fingernail imprints. I tried to fight myself on the inside, trying to take in the numbness that the rain was making me feel. I shuddered and felt my mom's arms around me. I screamed, feeling scared. She'd never stop haunting me.

I dug the blade in and I felt a rush and I gasped, feeling the imaginary arms disappear. I kept gasping and crying, wanting more. I was scared to go deeper, the pain felt good yet scared me. Coming close to dying scared me so much I never wanted to go through that feeling again. 

Feeling better, or at least as better as I could get in this state, I pocketed the razor and felt the sting of the rain as it hit my arms. I was just pulling my jacket sleeves up as I heard feet running towards me. My dad would send me back to rehab again.

        "Genna what the fuck is happening?" I heard Parker's deep voice yell. I screamed and cowered, not expecting it to be him. He sounded like he was going to beat me up and I curled up into a ball, waiting for the blow. Instead he sat down next to me as I held my arms against my stomach, gagging from being scared.

***

        "I don't understand how you could let your own daughter get this way. Do you have any idea how much it scared me to hear my son calling me from his phone saying Genevieve has collapsed in the park and won't stop crying?" I heard his mom's voice shriek at my poor father who was probably chugging beers and taking shots.

I lay in bed, my hair and clothes soaking wet. I just didn't even care any more. I allowed myself a few minutes in the bathroom to pour some peroxide and crying out in pain because of the sting. Parker was asleep next to me, having fallen asleep a half hour ago. But he kept waking up every few minutes. I still wouldn't turn around and talk to him. I haven't said a word yet since he found me.

        "Don't yell at me like that Mary, I had no idea she would think to run out in the middle of a rainstorm. I thought she was asleep! I have no control over things like that!" My dad yelled back. I heard a can slam against the table.

        "Well you do have control over your daughter's eating! I just about fainted when I saw how skinny she was at the airport! Parker didn't even recognize her! Parker! Her best friend for ten years! Not even recognizing her! I barely recognized her!" She yelled.

        "How was I supposed to remember that she was a vegetarian!! Toby took care of that, not me!" He yelled back. Yeah, my mom's name was Toby, and she told me she used to suffer from bipolar disorder. I loved that about her, the fact that she wasn't always perfect.

(Recognize the names and hints my lovely readers?)

        "Hey... you okay?" I heard Parker's sleepy voice next to me. He put his arms around me and played with my wet hair, as we listened to our parents yelling back and forth. Finally, once sentence made my skin get goosebumps.

        "Well it's settled then! Genevieve is living with us until you can get your act together and actually be a good father!" I heard her voice yell. I heard the front door slam, then a few hushed words from Parker's dad as he opened the door and shut it quietly.

I heard glass break downstairs and I shook, scared at what was happening.

This was all my fault.