Just Friends. (A falling in love with my best friend story)

Chapter 2: Empty

   Genna's POV:

Have you ever had to go long periods of time without eating, and there was this empty hollow feeling in your stomach that just wouldn't go away because you were so hungry?

I've had a constant feeling like that ever since the incident. It won't go away, ever. Even if I'm not thinking about it, or am completely absorbed on something else, it's always there. I'm not just being theoretical either. I can really feel it. The feeling gets worse when you think about it, or the reason behind it.

I lay in bed, in the exact same position I have been in for the past few hours since I've woken up. Remember when I said that my dad had excused himself from being my jail warden once I went into therapy? I didn't mean it theoretically, I meant it literally.

Nowadays he barely bothered to wake me up or make me go to bed ever since my therapist told him that he should at least give me my own free will back. But then again, my therapist is a dumbass.

        "Genna, would you like some coffee? I made your favorite." I heard his voice from outside the door. He didn't wait for my answer and walked in with a very tall cup filled almost to the brim, with milk and sugar already mixed in.

Even though he stopped being so strict, he never stopped caring. I knew he was just as desperate to keep me alive as I was as desperate to stop being alive. What a pair we made.

He set the cup on my nightstand, next to my turned down picture of me and mom. I wasn't ready to turn it up again. He sat on the edge of the bed and stroked my hair, his eyes full of tiredness. He only wore sunglasses out in public so people wouldn't see how beaten down he looked. People mistook him for being blind.

        "You should get up and take a shower. You don't exactly smell your best. Parker will think you've spent your summer in a garbage disposal." He said, with a joking smile.

I nodded and he got up and walked to the door, but paused and turned to face me.

        "Oh, by the way. His flight is actually going to be a few hours earlier, but we don't know when. So don't be surprised if it's 2AM and I'm waking you up." He prewarned. I nodded again and he left my room, closing my door.

I took my sweet time getting out of my bed, but before I headed towards the bathroom, I took one of my blankets and sniffed it. I threw it back on the bed.

How could dad let me out in public when I smelled like that?!?!?! How did I not know I smelled like that!?!?

I had long since lost my love for showers and rarely took them. Sometimes dad had to make me go put my bathing suit on and he'd pour water over my head just to wash me up. But like eating, it's just lost it's reason. Nowadays I could only do tasks that involved laying down and mindless activity, or something that took my mind far away. In other words, internet, reading, and sleeping.

***

I must've spent an hour in there because I heard dad yelling from my bedroom, checking on me to see if I was okay. I yelled yeah back and I heard my door shut again. 

Knowing I would be seeing my ray of sunshine in less than a day seemed to wake me up because the shower actually felt amazing. I could feel the aching feeling calm down a bit. I even took advantage of my newfound strength and put on my robe and tying it tightly around me, and took my sheets off my bed without taking everything on top off first, then after thouroghly checking to make sure my phone or my laptop or any book had been lost in my blankets, I gathered them all up in one big bundle and put them in the laundry basket outside in the hallway.

My coffee was still searing hot, just the way I liked it. I only ever cooled it off if I was having one of those 'hurry to school' mornings back in the day, but even then I still liked to take my time drinking it. School seemed like some far off place that I'd never visit again.

        "Genna, can I come in and make your bed?" My dad asked. I walked over and opened the door for him, and with him he carried my four pillows that I'd forgotten to take out of their cases. He then walked to my closet and dug out my other comforter set for when one needed washing, then told me to go brush my hair and get dressed and brush my teeth while he made my bed.

I was glad he took over because my strength had left me surprisingly fast and it seemed a great task to brush my hair. But I did anyway and when I returned to my room, I was a bit astonished. The clothes that had been scattered all around my floor were gone -probably in the dirty laundry- and my bed was made, and I must've taken an extra long time because my floor looked like he had vaccuumed too.

I took my coffee mug and walked downstairs, finding our house looking a billion times cleaner than it had in a long time. Dad was busy wiping the counters and I walked over to him.

        "What's all this?"I asked. He looked at me and I saw shame seep into his eyes.

        "I just....don't want the family we've known for years see that we've fallen apart." He said. I nodded, understanding how he felt. Parker has never seen me this damaged and I'm afraid how he'll react to it.

        "I know." I said.

Dad looked me up and down and for the first time, he must've realized how thin I was. I was always skinny to begin with, but now you could see my ribs poking out a tad. He looked appalled.

        "Genna..." He said. I stopped him.

        "I know. But I won't eat unless you stick to my vegetairian diet plan like you haven't been before." I said.

Mom had come up with a diet plan to make sure I still got all the nutrients I needed; but yeah that fell apart.

Dad determinedly nodded and, feeling overly exhausted at all that had happened this morning, I walked back upstairs and climbed into my fresh, clean bed pulling my laptop from the floor and logging online, taking another sip of my coffee.

Unfortunately the thought of Parker seeing me like this wouldn't get out of my mind. Even though I had showered and would now be eating (maybe) I still wouldn't be able to hide the fact that something terrible happened.

That I had become empty.