Begin Again (A Greyson Chance Love Story)

Chapter 22

CJ's point of view

So nice of him to join the ride.

Not.

"Remind me to walk away faster so I wouldn't meet you at times like this." I mumbled but I made sure he heard it. "Don't you ever take a day off?" He asked, slightly annoyed. Hey, his breathing annoys me as much as he's annoyed with my talking. "No, you're the reason we're stuck here and dibs on the bed, I'm sleeping on it tonight. Me and me alone." I snapped. He paused for a minute and suddenly turned to me. "Nuh-uh, I called dibs." I said. "I slept on the bed last night which only implies I called dibs first." He excused. "Nope, you didn't call it and now I called it. I'm sorry for your loss." I said, slightly amused by his smug reaction. The elevator finally made the familiar 'ding' sound and I saw the hallway were my life ends. I know, I sound very dramatic but this is where my life tragically is. "I see you went shopping." He said, noticing my handful of paper bags. "Your eyes don't lie. It's not like I wanted to go shopping." I said. "My eyes don't lie but I think my ears do. Why would you even allow yourself to wear those? You barely wore anything horribly short." He questioned. "What are you? The guy with many questions?" I snapped. He rolled his eyes and made his way into the kitchen. "DON'T TAKE AWAY MY NUTELLA!" I yelled. I seized the jar from him. His eyes narrowed in frustration. "YOU CAN'T CALL DIBS ON FOOD!" He said. "I didn't call dibs on food, I packed the nutella so it is rightfully mine." I pointed out. "Why don't I have freedom in this place?" He yelled in frustration and made his way to the couch. "This is a couch?" He question in disbelief. "Your dad is a rich man, how come we end in this dump?" He said grumpily. "If you want to get words of wisdom then, be my guest." I said. I took a spoon and started eating the nutella up. "What?" He asked, confused. "Dad has a long speech for questions like that. Believe me, I asked the same thing this morning and I was only given a nosebleeding speech." I said. "This doesn't even fit my feet." He said. "Why are my favorite channels blocked? The only available channel is the local news! This is a travesty!" He beamed. "Good, then feel what I feel! This is all your fault anyway." I said. "You're accusing me? How is it my fault when you were the one being obnoxious and difficult! I tried to mend our friendship but you just threw that all away. This is where it got us. You dragged me to your own karma!" He exclaimed. "My Karma? Do you know how much I've been through? Now, Emily is gone because of you!" I snapped. "IT'S A NEW YEAR, CJ. CAN'T YOU LET THAT PASS? I'M TIRED OF TRYING TO MAKE THINGS OKAY. YOU NEVER LET ME FIX MY MISTAKE SO I JUST STOPPED AND THOSE FIVE YEARS OF NO COMMUNICATION IS YOUR FAULT. YOU NEVER REACHED OUT. WHAT WAS I SUPPOSED TO DO? CALL THE FBI TO LOOK FOR YOU?" He beamed. The range in his voice almost scared me. "You broke too many things, Greyson. Now they're just pieces and I can't even put them back together. You were so carless. I tried to reach out to you even though you were just right in front of me but you never came back. Now how does it feel to want someone back but they just give you the cold shoulder?" I said and turned away.

I walked into the bedroom. There's a balcony that overlooked the rest of Los Angeles. My eyes started to sting. I refused to shed a tear. I'm not going to be weak. I'm not going to cry for Greyson. I've been there and I'm not going back to it. He doesn't understand. I don't think anyone could understand how I feel but I don't know what I want beyond all of this. Well, yes, I want Greyson to pay the price of being the reason why Emily left but it wouldn't grant me happiness. It's just a mere effect brought by depression and grief...and anger. I let my emotions take over me. I don't know why my emotions always get the best of me. My words, my actions and my own thinking are under the power of my emotions. Some of them are done because of how I feel. Maybe my dad is right. Maybe I don't hate Greyson, it's just my emotion. I'm just mad at him.

But I don't think I'm ready to forgive him just yet. I still want him to prove something but he already said it, he stopped trying. He never even really proved anything before so what's the point of his words? Maybe if I turn off all my emotions and just focus on one thing, I could jumpstart my life into one goal to accomplish.

Maybe I can focus on hate.

Just that revenge I want upon Greyson. Yes, that would be a great goal to settle.

I remember my reason of agreeing to all of this. I still needed him to feel sorry. What the past brought still stabs me until now. I should give him a sneak peek of how it feels and he'll see how cold it is to be left into a bad past. He will pay.

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I didn't really understand this chapter. Well, all I know is, she felt kinda sorry for how she's reacting around Greyson but sorry turned to hate. I guess that's how it went. I apologize for such a short chapter. It's already one in the morning when I wrote this so, basically, it's late. I also apologize if there are any misspellings. It's one in the morning, okay? 

By the way, Taylor will be releasing a new fragrance called "Taylor". Well, I don't even have Wonderstruck or Wonderstruck Enchanted so this is kinda difficult. Anyways, I need my well deserved sleep. Till the next update, lovely readers.

Allie out xx

- osnapitzallie