Obsession

Chapter 12 - George and Sonya

The lights were mirrored in her eyes but did not reflect
the depths of her soul.

"Here's the key, Nanny. I want you to be the first person, besides me to open this door in years. I want to see it through your eyes. Believe it or not in my own twisted, warped way, I respect and up to today, trusted you and your opinion."

He dangles it in my face. I am afraid to take it, terrified of what he will do. He is a weird combination and I have no idea which way he could turn. I cannot judge his mind-set at all.

"Take it Nanny it's time we got this over and done with. You've obviously been dying to know what's in here let's satisfy both of our curiosities."

I with extreme trepidation take the key and enter. The room has the feeling of being untouched but has an air of expectancy like it is waiting for something or someone to make it breathe again. It is not a hygiene thing as everything is buffed and shone, like a child, lovingly prepared for his or her first school photo. Ornate plasterwork dominates, perfumes laid out with precision, clothes draped in artistic style, a fabulous chandelier hanging down from a ceiling rose, glistening. A huge marble fireplace adorned with fresh flowers in ornate vases, someone loved luxury - I gasp involuntarily - Sonya - who else could it be - is laying on a four-poster bed, herself and the bed dressed in silk a peaceful smile on her face. Her bloom never faded over time, as she is beautiful and completely see-through, a glow, levitating. I feel a great sense of warmth envelop me and I want to bask in it forever. Unknowing I emit a pleasurable sigh, I know now I have nothing to fear from Sonya.

"Ah, you can see her, I can't. She has denied me that privilege since I refused to let the doctor visit Rosalind when she was a baby. Do you remember that Sonya? When she was about a year and really, sick. Of course, you again, Nanny, saved the day. You are extremely privileged Nanny she has only let Rosalind see her these days. You must be in the good books. She shows she's around in other ways these days, don't you Sonya?"

Silence prevails.

"See Nanny, same as the old married days, she speaks when she wishes and not before. Strength of character another aspect of her personality I loved and admired. Well I stray from the matters in hand. What was it you wanted to know Nanny? I am at your beck and call, every morsel of information you ever wanted I will now lay at your feet to do with what you will."

I myself remain silent. What could I ask in these circumstances? I do not know my own name right now. So much is happening at once.

"For God sake, Nanny, ask me something, anything, you must have questions otherwise why would you be snooping around in the first place."

I blurt out the first thing I can think of in an aim to keep him somewhat placated.

"Were you and Sonya happily married?"

"I was I adored her, I think and hope we were both happy for the first few years. She may disagree."

Wow, what was that? Words are flying from my mouth, words I have not thought of. Bitter but at the same time strangely loving words Sonya is using me. I am trying to stop them but no out the words spurt.

***********

"You're right George the first years were heaven. In time Heaven became hell, you made my life miserable near the end with your heinous actions. Your desire to be constantly in control, caused by your insane jealousy. Jealousy brought on by your own sinning George, you are such a cliché the adulterer riddled with guilt, judging everyone by his standards. Adored, possessed is a better word. It's hard to love someone who won't let you just be."