Light Me Up *Sequel- ON HOLD*

Love tough enough to count on

10th grade:

My feet thump against the steps as I walk off of the bright yellow school bus, & I smile, excited to get home for the weekend. I swear, the week just drags on & on! Not bothering to look back at the bus that just started to drive away, my legs carry me quickly across the sidewalk til I can finally see my small house in sight. Grinning, I run til I get there, only stopping to open the front wooden door of my house.

"Ma! Daddy! I'm home!" I yell, tossing my bag to the floor temporally so we can talk about our day with each other. One reason I love Fridays so much was because they were both off from work, so we can all spend some time together. Now my little sister needs to just get home from her elementary school, then we'll be set. Although, not to sound selfish, it is nice to get them to myself sometimes.

The floor creeks under my tennis shoe covered feet, making me go a couple of paces slower. It always feels like it can fall under you, although Daddy has always assured me it wouldn't.

My eyes widen as I see my mom on the black leather couch, her elbows on knees as she bawls her eyes out. Then I notice that the room is a wreck, books & other items having been knocked off of shelves & all over the blue carpeted floor. It looks like a tornado came in & got into an argument with a tidal wave. "M- Mom?" She looks up, making me jump back at her mascara covered face. Her blonde ponytail, which was perfect earlier, is now a complete mess.

A too strong of a sob comes out her throat, making me want to run & hide in fear. Instead, I find myself walking weakly over to her, my chest starting to hurt for unknown reasons as I notice her hands clutch her pants tightly.

"Whe-where's dad?" She starts to cry harder, making me wince. "Mom? Mama?" Her blue-green eyes connect with mine, showing all of her pain. Something you would never want to see your mama in. They search in mine desperately, like it was for the last time. Like either one of us could be gone in an instant soon.

"Yo- you're dad. H-he's, he's dead." It feels like someone punches me in the stomach, then kicks it. Surely this is some sick joke? My stomach clenches tightly, & it's like someone has a hold of my lungs & is crushing it in their bare hands. Over & over again, as I notice that all I can see is her tear stained face, everything else just a meaningless blur.

"W-w-what?" Tears form in my eyes as I shake my head desperately. "No, y- you're lying. He's not."

"Le-"

"You're wrong!" I scream, tears falling freely down my face now as I keep shaking my head. I take a couple of steps back, unintentionally stepping on the weak part of the floor. I don't care, let me fall to my death. Let me fucking fall. "He isn't!" I run out the door, my eyes looking everywhere for any sign of my dad. "Daddy!" I scream, hating how my voice breaks. I fall down onto my knees, ignoring the burning pain that runs through them. I burrow my face in between them as sobs, one by one, fly out of my throat. My fist comes up into the air, my nails digging into my own palm painfully before crashing into the ground, grabbing clumps of the soft grass & chunks of dirt. "Where are you?!" I yell out. Where the bloody hell is he? I know he isn't- he isn't-. I start to scream into the ground, not knowing what else to do.

Present Time:

I stare at the cell phone in my hand, willing myself to click her contact name, & call. This is the first time apart from my family, so I don't know how easy it will be to talk about this over the phone. Wait, not easy at all, that's how easy.

With a shaky breath, I finally gain the courage to press call. 3 rings later, my sister answers the phone with a tired yawn.

"Hey," she says, her voice solemn. Good, she remembers. But I doubt she'll ever forget. "Are you ok?"