[COMPLETED]
❝Death is inevitable. It's a promise made to us at birth.❞
Arielle is a studious young woman striving to be a chef. Her life is full of going to class, reading textbooks, and hanging out with her friends, until she meets Zayn. Zayn's an...
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➳ ARIELLE'S POV
It was hitting me like a baseball hits a bat, or a semi hits a lone, misguided and completely unaware deer on the highway. It was hitting me forcefully, graphically, tenaciously, horrifically.
Seeing Zayn again had me crying into my pillow, eating out of tubs of ice cream, watching terrible romance movies, and avoiding calls from my friends. I think for the first while, I was in a state of shock, and so the sense of loss associated with losing him never really hit me. But the second he ran his finger along my jawline at the hospital, my heart stopped in my chest. It froze, and then someone recklessly took a rock-solid hammer to it—effectively shattering it into billions of tiny little broken fragments.
And all those fragments belong to him.
I can't believe after seeing him again for the first time since he was in the hospital when I learned of his amnesia, I ran. I ran away like a child because of the way he made my heart race, and my skin flush. I ran away because seeing him again had all the feelings come rushing back that I've been desperately trying to suppress. I don't want to feel. I don't want to be reminded of the person that I've lost, and yet there he was, making me feel like I was suffocating, and his hand was the one around my throat.
The last few days I've gone to work, avoided everyone, and came straight home to hide away in my room. I knew Nyjah could sense something was off because every time he came home, he'd knock on my door for minutes, even hours sometimes, tenaciously asking for me to let him in. But I'd never let him in and eventually he'd leave because he had to. I didn't want everyone to know what was going on. I'd been enough of a pain in the ass to everyone around me lately, I refused to cause more trouble.
I still can't stand the thought of losing him, but that's the thing, I've already lost him. I lost him a long time ago. I can't even stand losing the last ounce of him I have left. One of the shirts he once wore hangs in my closet, so I can wear it on days like today. I wait for the day when I'll have the strength to wash away the last scent of him, but I don't know that I'll ever have the strength, because each time I breathe in the scent of him left on the fabric, it brings up another memory, and I'm right back to being a mess.
Hayes and Rae could tell that something's been off with me the last few days and I've been pestered with questions about what's wrong with me. They don't understand it, and frankly, I don't want my co-workers being so involved in my personal life. I think I need some distance between my personal and professional lives. Besides, things are already awkward with knowing that I kissed Rae and Hayes saw it, and quite possibly saw me naked. Hayes especially seemed a little worried about me, eventually even letting me go home early today.
After he'd let me go, I went straight to get another tub of cookie dough ice cream and went home. I grabbed a spoon, changed clothes, and started watching some shitty Christmas romance movie that was probably making me feel even worse about my situation than before. Watching her fall in love and go through a tiny breakup only to get back together with him was nothing compared to what I was feeling. Why couldn't the breakup between Zayn and I last ten minutes like it had for the woman in the movie?
