bulletproof - calm ot4

16- i'm just a boy with a dream

I'm just a boy with a dream and you can take one look as I fall in between with my eyes just as wide as my mouth can be. Why don't you say so? I know, I know, I know that there's a place for me somewhere out there.

-

"You promise it wasn't a suicide attempt?" Ashton asks Luke for the umpteenth time. Luke nods, but Calum knows that the blonde isn't even paying attention anymore. After having his wrists stitched up and the frail blonde having to stutter over and over again that it was not a suicide attempt, Luke was released from the hospital with a stern suggestion: see a therapist, get him on meds.

It's the next night, and Calum, Luke and Ashton are curled up in Michael's bed--their bed. Michael's been in and out all day, staying just long enough to kiss them all on the forehead and make sure they're all okay. Calum knows Michael's just outside the building smoking--and maybe breaking things too--but he doesn't saying anything about it. He knows that if Michael doesn't let off steam in that way, he'll accidentally take it out on his boyfriends.

"I just want you to be okay," Ashton sighs, carding his fingers through Luke's hair. He looks up at Calum. "I want you to be okay, too."

Calum smiles halfheartedly. "I'm getting there," he promises. "I really am."

-

Michael paces up and down the street outside the apartment building, his fourth cigarette of the day held tightly between his fingers. He's tense, and smoking usually calms him down, but not today.

His baby boy just got out of the hospital, just days after he, himself, was raped. He knows he should be in there and taking care of his boyfriends, because they've all had a rough week. He feels bad about the amount of stress he knows that Ashton is under. The poor boy is trying to juggle keeping an eye on Luke, not neglecting Calum, making sure Michael's okay, and not missing any school.

Tears filling his eyes, Michael realizes that he has to tell them. He has to tell his boyfriends about Aaron.

-

Calum hears the front door open, and footsteps thumping into the bedroom. They sound more urgent than the last time Michael came in to check on them a few hours ago. The tan boy sits up immediately to find Michael standing in the doorway, his cheeks flushed red and shiny. Is...is Michael crying?

Ashton and Luke look up, too, and Ashton immediately begins throwing the covers off of himself, beginning to make his way toward Michael. "Babe--?"

Michael runs towards the bed, throwing himself into his boyfriends' arms. The tattooed boy breaks down, fisting Ashton's t-shirt and sobbing into the muscular boy's chest. Calum is shocked--he never thought he would see Michael cry.

"Babe, what happened?" Ashton asks. He makes eye contact with Calum, a panic stricken look crossing his face. None of them know what to do.

Michael doesn't respond, but his crying goes down to a softer sniffling. His entire face is hidden by Ashton's chest, Ashton's arms wrapped tightly around him. Calum is on the other side of Ashton and Luke is on the other side of Michael, tugging on the tattooed boy's arm.

"Mikey," Luke whispers, the first word that Calum has heard the blonde speak all day.

The dark haired boy turns on his side so he's facing Luke. Calum watches Luke's shaking hands as they move to wipe the tears off of Michael's cheek. "W-Will you t-tell us what's wrong?"

Calum hears Michael take a deep, shuddering breath, and when the pale boy speaks, the tears are evident in his voice.

"I was raped." The were words harsh but broken. Quivering yet firm. "By...by Aaron."

-

Michael closes his eyes as soon as the words have left his mouth. He doesn't want to see the reaction upon Luke's too-thin face, he doesn't want to have to turn around and see the tears in Ashton's eyes, the guilt in Calum's.

Michael feels hot tears sliding down his cheeks and he bites his lip to stifle a sob, because he's done with crying. His boyfriends are uncomfortably quiet, as none of them know what to say to make it better.

Taking a deep breath, Michael opens his eyes. He's immediately met with baby blue eyes, the first ones he fell in love with. His baby boy.

"I'm sorry," Michael chokes out, frantically wiping the tears off his cheeks. "I'm so sorry." He rolls over onto his back, not wanting to neglect his other boyfriends. He stares at the ceiling as he feels arms wrapping around him, fingers stroking his cheeks, kisses on his shoulders. He doesn't know who is who. He can't look.

"It's not your fault, you don't need to apologize," Ashton assures Michael.

Michael shrugs, because he knows it is his fault. He insisted on going after Aaron. He's the one with anger issues, the one that had to get revenge even though Calum told him not to.

"It should've been me," Calum says, taking them all by surprise. Michael, Luke and Ashton all turn to look at Calum, who now has mascara trailing his cheeks. "Fu ck, I'm so sorry, Michael. It should've been me."

"No, no, no, no," Michael insists, sitting up immediately, turning towards Calum. "Don't say that, ever."

"But it's true--"

"No." Michael reaches over, pulling Calum by the wrist until the tan boy is snug against Michael's chest. "No." It's all Michael can manage to say before he's crying again. Crying because of the trauma he went through, crying because he can't stop picturing Aaron's hands on his princess, crying because he's so grateful it didn't happen to his princess.

Ashton and Luke wrap their arms around their boyfriends, finding themselves crying as well. They're all hurt by the recent events, but--as much as he doesn't want to admit it--Michael knows that he's hurting the worst.

"It's okay," Ashton whispers, over and over again. Michael knows he's speaking to all three of them. Luke isn't dead. It's okay. Calum isn't guilty. It's okay. Michael isn't broken. It's okay.

They're okay.

~

A/N: hi friends!!! sorry it took me a while to update i spent all of last week binge watching the 100 and all of this week rewatching lololol im so far up bellamy's ass wHAT

how are you guys doing today? anyone have fun plans for halloween? the new broken scene is happening right now literally twenty minutes away from me in my fuckin g city and i couldnt go im actually so so so upset over it

but!!! how did we feel about the chapter? michael finally coming clean? calum feeling guilty?? ashton having to take care of all three of them? let me know!!! love you guys((: