Where's my Saviour? (Black Veil Brides)

I Won't Give In

Ashlynn's P.O.V.

It's time to come home. Andy is getting out before I am. His condition wasn't as bad as mine was. I'll be getting out tomorrow. Andy said he's going to stay with me in my room after he gets discharged. I just hope the guys won't send me to another mental hospital. They aren't helpful at all because I know I'm not going to get better anytime soon. I'm just a lost cause. But I have a purpose in this world. Andy and the guys have made me realize this. I know that I'm here for a reason. My father hasn't tried to get ahold of me. Andy's hospitalization has been made public but not the reason why he was hospitalized. Since I'm so close to the guys, I'm in the news as well. I've gotten many sweet "get well soon" wishes and stuff like that on my social media. Ever since I've gotten to the hospital, the guys have been more gentle around me. They know not to bring up what I did. But I can still see them looking at my bandaged arms and pale body. I was weighed when I got in here and I weigh a whopping 103 pounds. C.C. Says that it's not healthy and that I'm so skinny that it even looks unhealthy, but I know he's just trying to make me feel better. I knew I'm fat. But whatever. Andy comes in to my room and smiles at me. He looks way better than you'd think for someone who just got out of the hospital. Jinxx is right behind him. He looks at me and I can see the hurt in his eyes. I can see him wince ever so slightly.

"You look like shit, Ash. We're worried about you baby girl. When will you realize that we care about you and that we aren't like your dad?" Jinxx says while getting into my bed. I snuggle in to him and he plays with my hair. I wouldn't mind if he was my brother. He IS like a brother to me. Almost like a father. He will make a GREAT father someday. Whoever married him is one lucky girl, for sure. 

The nurse comes in to my room and Jinxx and Andy go to the other side of the room. 

"Time to change your bandages. You also need to give blood. Your medical records show you haven't gotten blood drawn in almost 7 years. That's not good. So we need to see if you have Anything wrong with you. Do you want to get your blood taken now or before you leave?" The nurse asks me. (I think her name is Danielle or Diane?) 

"Uhh... Now's fine. Thanks.... I'm sorry. I don't remember your name."

"It's Diana, sweetie. Alright. I'll go get the supplies for your bloodwork. Let me just change your bandages, darling." 

She takes my old bandages off and I look at my work. Yeah. These are going to S-C-A-R. I feel a sense of pride. No. Stop Ashlynn. Just stop it. No need for this. You shouldn't feel proud, you want to get better. Getting better means looking at your cuts and not liking what you see.

I look over at Jinxx and see him wince when he looks at my arms. 

Fuck. He's really hurting over me. I don't want to hurt anyone. FUCK FUCK FUCKITY FUCK FUCK. The fact that I have to mentally yell at myself is pretty bad. I know I'm crazy. Maybe I should try going to therapy. Maybe it will help. 

One more day! 

A/N: Hey lovelies! I wrote a pretty long chapter this time. You're welcome! I was thinking about you guys. Because you're all loved so much by me. Stay strong and beautiful, my lovelies. I love every single one of you guys! <3