The Sound that Saved Me (BoyxBoy)

Chapter 20: All of Me?

Caspar's PoV:

"Caspar, stop blimmin squirming." he breathed with irritation, fixing my quiff while the brunette sat crossed ledged in front of me, pouting slightly at my behavior.

We were both on Joe's bed, as we were getting ready for the night after he had helped me pack up my backpack while I just stood there silently, helping him out with my few clothes with no iconic Caspar protests or whines.

Now that is will power.

I was rehearsing the song Arden and I were preparing to perform tonight earlier on, running my fingers through the strings of my guitar one last time before the door to the apartment clicked open.

Joe had returned from his sister's house, making me grin happily as he approached me, and suddenly straddled my lap and collected me into a huge hug without a word, wrapping his thin arms around my neck while nuzzling his face into the crook of my neck, murmuring " I'm home."

It was pretty unusual of the older boy to be honest, but I was happy about it nevertheless as I secured my arms around his waste lovingly "welcome home."

But, I wasn't complaining either about moving as I mentioned before, mainly because I didn't want to be that annoying clingy boyfriend anymore. There is also another reason for that, and I feel guilty just thinking about it.

Joe is going to kill me.

Moving on to our current situation on his bed, Joe was still yet to wear his own clothes. And by yet I meant that the older boy was still in his black boxers and white button up shirt when I barged into his room, asking him to do my hair for me because it was obviously a total mess.

It's childish, I know.

"I can't help it, your touch is so comforting," I teased, causing him to shove me on the chest as I giggled playfully in response.

"Suggy.." I called afterwards with a soft tone.

"Hmmm?" He replied, playing with my hair for the last time before backing away and examining his work as if it was some sort of art "done."

I reached out and grabbed his hands in my own big ones. I glanced at his surprised face with a smile then, " I'm really happy to be with you."

I really am.

He blinked at me as his facial expressions shifted to confusion, while I continued holding his hands, rubbing my thumbs lightly above them.

A blush formed on my cheeks while I continued, "I've never been this happy before. I just want you to know that whatever you are suffering from, it will be okay. I'll always be here for you," I gulped, darting my blue pupils down on my own thighs.

Those pills.

God, if you knew what I have done.

"Caspar...what's wrong?" He asked with furrowed eyebrows. I could deduct a bit of worry there. For some reason, my chest felt heavier.

I pulled my gaze up, and faced him once again as I tugged on his small hands lightly

"You. You're what's wrong with me."

I went behind your back again.

"Talk to me," he tugged at my hands back, feeling his face fall " Caspar, just say it. You've been quite, too quite actually and I don't exactly like it."

"I just," I closed my eyes, pausing for a bit before opening them and blurting, " I worry about us a lot. I worry that this perfect state I'm in right now will get ruined at some point. Because you're hiding stuff from me."