The Bad Boy and I

Chapter 42

FOUR MONTHS LATER

Will's POV

Four months.

Four months since she's been gone.

Each day had been like torture. I remembered going to school the first day after Tessa had left. The seat on my left was painfully empty, and I had caught myself turning to talk to her, only slowly realizing that the seat would always be empty. I hated having to sit at the cafeteria table, without her sitting across from me. Sometimes I still thought I saw her in the hallway, only to painfully realize that it wasn't her. That it would never be her. It was horrible.

Cecily, Isabelle, and Clary had been depressed the entire month after she had left. They were better now, but we all still talked about Tessa often. As for me, I still wasn't over it. I wasn't myself. I didn't talk much, and my grades were dropping. I hadn't spoke to her since that day at the airport. I wondered if she had read my letter, and didn't know how to tell me that she didn't love me back.

I knew that Cecily, Clary, and Isabelle all talked to her daily, but I couldn't bring myself to pick up the phone. Every time I did, I chickened out. I was nothing without Tessa. My life suddenly didn't have meaning anymore, since she was gone. I was nothing.

"Will?" Mrs. Brown snapped me out of my trance.

I returned to reality. I was sitting in History, and apparently Mrs. Brown had just asked me a question.

"Uh, yeah?" I said.

"In which year did King Louis XVI get executed?" She asked.

"I don't know." I replied.

Mrs. Brown frowned at me, and then asked the new kid, Simon. I looked over at Cecily, who was looking at me sympathetically. Her, Izzy, and Clary had kept trying to get me to call Tessa, but I couldn't. She obviously didn't want to talk to me since she hadn't called.

Class ended soon after that, and just as I was about to walk out the door, Mrs. Brown called me back.

"Yes?" I said as I walked up to her desk.

"Are you alright, Will?" She asked and I was surprised.

"Why do you ask?" I said.

"Well, your grade has been slipping, ever since Miss Gray left." Mrs. Brown said.

I sighed and looked away from her.

"I know that you you two were dating." She said quietly.

"We weren't dating." I said simply.

"But you liked her." Mrs. Brown said, and I couldn't believe that I was having this conversation with my teacher.

"I did." I mumbled.

She gave me sympathetic look. "Have you spoken to her?"

"No." I answered.

"Maybe you should. You might feel better." Mrs. Brown suggested.

I just nodded and walked out the door. God, even my teacher could tell that I was torn up about Tessa. My next class went by quickly, and soon enough I was sitting in the cafeteria beside Jace and Alec, with Cecily across from me. Where Tessa should have been.

"Did you guys hear about the dance coming up?" Isabelle started.

"Yeah, I can't wait!" Cecily exclaimed.

"Are you going to go, Will?" Clary asked softly.

I shook my head. "No."

There was no way I was going to go. The only person I wanted to go with was Tessa, and I couldn't go with her.

"C'mon Will," Cecily started. "You can't be depressed forever."

"Do you think I want to be like this, Cecy?" I said, annoyed.

She sighed. "I know, but Tessa wouldn't want you to be like this."

"Yeah, well she isn't here is she?" I snapped.

I then got up and stormed off, and I heard Jace call my name, but I kept walking. I walked out into the parking lot, and got into my car. I was done with school. I angrily drove home. They all acted as if I was being like this on purpose. I just couldn't get her out of my head, her eyes, her smile, her laugh. I hadn't kissed anyone since I had kissed Tessa at the airport. I didn't want to kiss anyone but her.

I walked into my house, to see my mother and Ella sitting the kitchen. Ella was quite big, since she was about five months now with the baby.

"Will?" My mother sounded surprised. "Why aren't you at school?"

"I'm done with school for today." I muttered, and moved to the stairs to my room.

"Come sit." My mother said.

I sighed, and went and took a seat with her Ella. Ella was looking at me with worried blue eyes. I thought it was quite strange how her, Cecily, and I had all gotten my mother's features, and none of my father's.

"What's wrong?" My mother asked.

"Nothing." I said, avoiding her gaze.

"It's Tessa, isn't it?" Ella said.

She was able to read me like a book. She always had been.

"Yes." I sighed.

"Oh, Will." My mother said sympathetically, and brushed a bit of hair off my forehead.

"You loved her, didn't you?" Ella asked softly.

"Yes." I mumbled.

"What?!" My mother exclaimed.

"Yeah." I said.

"Oh, William." She started. "I'm so sorry. I know you two felt about each other."

I shook my head. "Tessa didn't love me."

"You're an idiot." Ella said. "Of course she did!"

I only shook my head, and looked away from them.

"Have you talked to her?" My mother asked.

"No." I said.

"Oh my god." Ella put her face in her hands. "Why not?"

"Because if she wanted to talk to me she would have already called. Plus, she's probably back with her ex boyfriend." I muttered.

"I saw the way she looked at you, Will. She loved you." Ella insisted.

"Even if she did, it wouldn't matter. She's gone anyways." I said bitterly.

Without waiting for their response, I walked off to my room. I slammed the door behind me, and threw myself down onto my bed. God, I missed her so much. We had been through so much together, and now she was gone. I'd probably never see her again. I wanted her so badly. More than I had ever wanted anything.

But I guess we all want things we can't have.