June 2, 2013.
Dear whomever,
I've never cried so hard in my life. My family is falling apart and there's nothing I can do to stop it. We barely have any money for things like food or other important necessities. I know that I should be grateful because I do have a house, but it's pretty hard to be grateful when you never know how much time you have left in that house. You know what I'm saying?
My mom and my grandmom haven't spoken to eachother yet. It's been almost two days. This is getting ridiculous. They always fight; but they always make up right away. I'm scared. Without my grandmom, my mom and I are barely getting any money, and without money, I don't know where we'll end up. It's hard having to constantly live in fear that one day you won't get to wake up in your own bed, let alone your own house. I just wish that I could have a normal, happy life. All of my other friends seem to have that.
~
On the bright side, well, there is no bright side. I'm still dreading my math test tomorrow. I'm so stressed and so tired and so drained. I have no energy for anything anymore, which is sad. I used to be the most energetic little girl you could ever meet. I used to love to go outside and make new friends. I used to not care what others thought about me. I used to be able to eat freely without constantly worrying about how many calories I'm consuming. I used to be happy. But I guess that happiness was just temporary. Now I'm a depressed teenager who doesn't care whether she lives or not. But I guess that's just growing up, right?
~
It's super hot right now. I hate Summer; it makes me uncomfortable. I hate having to wear shorts and short sleeves. I hate my disgusting body. Most of all, I hate how I have to stay inside all day while my friends get to do fun stuff because my mom has to work every single day. I love my mom, I really do. Sometimes I just wish that she didn't have to work all of the time. I miss her, a lot.
I'm looking forward to August. I actually get to stay in a hotel for my first time ever. My two friends and I are staying down there for a soccer tournament and I can honestly say that I'm super excited. Anyways, I'm extremely tired. Goodnight, dear friend.
