Sickness AU [COMPLETED]

♡chapter fifteen♡ the end.

This isn't happening. This is just a dream.
Wake up, wake up.

I looked out at the blue sky, watching the clouds blow through the city. The snow had faded away leaving just the cold. The first signs of spring were becoming visible and the winter details were leaving, until next year.

A single bird landed on my window sill. It whistled and sang happily. I pressed my face against the window watching as it sang loudly out to the city.

The glass was cold against my face sending shivers through my body. I watched the bird for a few more minutes, then it flew away disappearing into the blue horizon to reunite with it's family.
I began to cry tears streaming down my face. I stared at the sky like I was waiting for something magical to happen. But all the magic left when Riley took her last breath, when she left me and everyone she loved and loved her.

I truly did hate myself. I hated that she left. She left and now I'm alone, no one to look at a future with. Nobody to hold at night.

Nobody to say "I love you" to and mean it.

I stood up taking my jacket and sliding on boots.
I opened my window and climbed down the fire escape. The sky had turned orange and the sun set slowly. I walked towards the sun, squinting my eyes as it shined in my face.

I still felt the same after a few minutes. Walking wasn't helping. So I began to run, faster and faster. My boots clumped against the concrete of the sidewalk and my lungs stung from the cold but I kept going.
-
I don't know how long I have been running. But I'm still going. The sun is no longer there and the moon is now behind me. I collapsed on the sidewalk, heavily panting trying to catch my breath. My throat stung from the cold and my eyes burned and watered.
I picked up the rock laying next to me, chucking it into the dark road listening to the two collide.
I did the same with another, and another, and another, until I layed on the sidewalk, exhausted.
I looked up at the star in the sky and watched it twinkle. I felt the anger go away as I stared at the little star. So isolated from all of the others, but one of the brightest.

I stood up again and looked around for a sign of where I was. There wasn't any.
I started to walk in the direction I came from and with each step I became more tired.
I turned around hearing car wheels against the rough road. I jumped out into the street and begged the taxi driver for a ride and that I would pay him later.

He nodded and let me in the back. I gave him my address and he started to drive.
"You live here?" He asked.
"No sir."
"How you get here?"
"I ran."
His eyebrows rose and he whistled. "That's six miles, you're some runner."
"I wasn't even paying attention to how far I was going."
"Well your in the Bronx, not the best place to run to at night. Why you run so far?"
"I lost my girlfriend and I just needed to get away." I answered looking out the window at the buildings going flying by.
"Don't run away from problems, face them."
"But it's too painful."

The man laughed and nodded.
"I lost my daughter a couple years ago, and I did the same thing. I just drove for hours. Found myself in Jersy. Went back and faced the problem, helped me."
"I'm sor-" I started.
"No sorry. Not your fault." The man interrupted.

We talked for a few more minutes when he pulled up at my apartment building. I got out of the car.
"Wounds heal with time." He said as I stood in front of his window.
I nodded and fiddled in my jacket pocket looking for money.
"Shit, I don't have anything on me. I'll go get my-"
"Just go. It's okay. Good luck." And he drove off, leaving me confused. I climbed up the fire escape going into my room seeing Shawn sitting on my bed holding Mary.
"Welcome back, do you feel better?" He asked. I sat next to him and shook my head.

"Good, now you won't do it again."
"I'm sorry." I sighed putting my head in my hands.
"You scared us, but I knew you'd be back. You always are." He grinned rubbing my back.
"How far did you go?"
"The Bronx."
Shawn was surprised. "That's far."
"Yeah."