Rihanna
March 27, Edmonton, Canada
10:45am
"Ok we are done here " the tour manager yelled over the loud speakers, a couple of sights and 'finally' left some of my dances and band lips . I new that everyone was tired and glad we could have more free time now that rehearsals where done before noon, but none of them were as happy as me to have a little extra time to catch some sleep.
Between the concerts hours , the sleepless nights and the after party that usually take place in my tour bus after the meets and greets, it was safe to say that after a month of touring i was exausted.
The cold weather in canada didn't help much, i was an island girl, i wasn't just to this cold. You think NYC winter are cold? You damn sure havent been to canada. It was so fucking cold here that in the road from city to city our tour bus window could freeze! I mean that right there should tell you how fucking cold it was.
"Robyn, i got you're stuff, come on we're ready" jen yelled from the side of the stage. I ran up to catch up with her.
"Im hungry!" I said loud enough for her to hear me.
"Wanna go somewhere to eat?" I shook my head. Did she not know how much i disliked cold?
"Hell no! Is freezing outside! My ass could freeze to dead". She brust out laughing at my comment. I side eye her and walked up to Mike grabbing his arm for support when we got to the door.
We walked to the SUV waiting for us and got in. It was just me, jen and Mike. The rest of the crew was back at the hotel catching up on there sleep while i was here working my ass off. Lazy motherfuckers.
My best friends were here. Sonita and Leandra had come to join me on tour 2 weeks ago. Sonita was on vacation and decided to come stay with us in a tour bus! She's crazy. My baby cousin Noella was here too, i was glad my friends came to support, but i knew better why they were here.
After my recent break up with chris they were in "watch" mode, meaning that i was never alone. Even jen and Melissa were right next to me or they switch places with leandra and Yusef or whoever was staying with us.
The point was, i was never left alone. It felt like 2009 all over again. After chris and i incident, M and jen never left my side, even after my mom and gran gran came from Barbados they were still there. I found it annoying at times but i know they where just making sure i was ok.
After all of chris and i shit, i was still alright. Before i decided to give him another chance, i told him that if for whatever reason i felt direspected, i was out. Plain, blank, period. He knew it was my last time at trying, he saw everything i did for him and for us to work. I was reciving backlash left and right, i was call all kind of names. I was the "JOKE". He knew it, and still fuck me over. Not even a week after we were done he was already with her showinf her off. I felt played in the worst way possible. I knew deep down it was time to move on, and i did.
Something stop me from getting to the place i was planning to be tho.
Delilah. After she came into my life, something change. I was not longer thinking about chris and what he did to me, or how i couldn't keep using Drake. I was confused, and even tho she did add to my confuse state she was a breath of fresh air. She was like this clear point in all the blurness going around me. I got comfortable with her, the though of her been around made me feel somehow stable. Us been together felt right.
I loved her company the most, i loved waking up to her, i loved our conection.
Conection, something that i havent feel in so long. We conected and she knew it. She could notice the simple changes on my acttitude or my body. She knew when somethings was on my mind or when i needed to take a break from work. She just knew me and that's what scared me. Everything was happening faster of what im just to.
After what happen with chris, i did had conections with some poeple, but most of them i knew that it was something temporary. With her, i wasn't sure. I didnt want that feeling to go.
