Rihanna Los Angeles, CA. 04/04/2013 Morning.......
I felt like a constant flash was right over my faces. I tried open one eye to see who was the son of bitch trying to disturbed my sleep this early, but the bright light prevented me from fulfilling my desired fully was the sun, mother nature. "MMmm" a sound between a moan and a whine left my lips. 'Why on earth did i had to forget to close my blinds last night?' The thoughts of how stupid i was went through my head while i sat up in bed still with my eyes close.
"God.... why am i so stupid? " was the first thing to leave my mouth. I open my eyes and shield them with my hands so i can see where i was going. 'Note to my self, curse Jen out for the place where my bed was located' right in front of my floor to ceiling windows who lead to the patio.
I walked towards the sliding door and out into my backyard. The morning was serene, no winds, no sound of birds, no cars passing by, nothing. By now my eyes were used to the bright morning light and looking straight ahead after the cliff where my patio ends. 'How can this be my life now?' I never in a million years tho my life could be like this, full with all kinds of materialistic stuff, money, close, a nice big house, doing what i love to do but, empty. I know, there she go with the sad story of every famous person, you may think. But for you to understand what im talking about, you need to be here, where i am, looking straight ahead and surrounded by all the most expensive things money can buy and still feel like me. EMPTY.
Last night we got in really late, after my last show In Seattle i decided to come home and spend as much time as i can here, in LA. I bought this house no to long ago and haven't even enjoy it. So, as tired as i was last night after my concert i decided to rest in a airplane knowing that the next couple of days i'll be home.
I walked to one of the lounge chair close to the pool and sat there still sucking in everything about this view that i could possible could. I couldn't be able to do it for much longer. Yes, after less than a year of been the owner of this beautiful Pacific Palisades house in a posh neighborhood in LA i was think about selling and finding something else. My house was a mess, beautiful indeed but a mess anyways. I know, sad, sad story.
I leaned back in the chair and close my eyes. At least let me enjoy my house one last time. With that i felt asleep, again.
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I woke up again by someone shaking me. I open my eyes suddenly to find John my gardener standing next to the lodge chair. I sat up and rub my eyes and try to wake up fully.
"Hey miss Robyn" he said offering me a small smile.
"John you don't have to call me miss, you know that." I said and yawn.
"I know miss, i just feel better calling you that, you know old habits" he said and smile again. I look up and gave him a small smile in return.
"How's my garden old men?" I asked and a hearty laugh escape his lips.
"The same miss Robyn i see..... your garden is great. Sometimes i think that, that is the only good part of this entire house. Things are getting worst with those pipes miss Robyn" he said in a more serious tone. I sight.
"I know old men. I need to meet up again with a real state agent and see how we can go from here to sell this house"
"Is that what you want to do miss?" I shook my head.
"Is not, but what can i do? This house is trash, i barely got time to stay here my tour will be over in 7 month, and after that i don't want to come here, to this damage house and try to fix things. Im damage as i am, i need to focus on my self not stress my self out with this problem." I said and rub my temples, i can feel a headache coming.
"Miss if you don't mind hearing this old man opinion can i advise you something?" He asked turning his head to get a better look at my respond. I nodded. " life if difficult ass it is, don't take everything too personal, someone out there may be going through the same things you're going. Just sit back down ,breath, relax your mind and go with what your heart is telling you. Sometimes is not what is best for us but it's still what your heart wants." I looked at him to find him looking at the sun who was high in the sky by now.
"Are you saying that because of the house or something else?" I asked him.
"Im saying this because for some reason i feel like you needed to heard that. I dont know what you're going through and i dont know if i can ever understand how it feels whatever you're feeling, but one thing i do know is, Life is never easy, is never dull, is never sad. Life is what we make out of it, and whatever it is, you choose that. Dont let fear of the unknown stop you from living life to the most extend, do what you want even if is not the best for you."
With that he stood up and walked away from me. I was sitting there thinking about the meaning behind his words. Is like he knew that what i feel is more than a house, this house. Those words applied to everything in my life.
"And miss..." he called when there was some distance between us. "Your friend can looking for you the day you left to go on tour" i frowned, what friend?
"Who?..."
"The lady with golden locks and sad smile, what was her name....." he was scratching his head but by now my heart was running a marathon, it couldn't be her right? " lili, i think her name was lili..."
"Lilah?.." i interrupted him.
"Yeah, her. She came the day your left, she didn't call?..." i shook my head. She didn't. " something told me she couldn't." He said absent minded like he was thinking back to that day.
"What did she said? Did she said something?" I asked in a panicking voice. Robyn calm down.
"No really....." i heavy sight left my lips and looking at my feet. " she said she just came to show you something. I asked what it was and she said her daughter, and let me tell you something, i couldn't believe she had a daughter, she look like a model...." he kept talking but by now i was completely in shock. She came to show me her daughter? Omg.....
"Are you sure she said that?" I asked getting up and walking up to him, maybe he didn't heard her right.
"Yes, she open her car and showed me a small child, a girl. A really beautiful girl, she was sleeping in the back seat and i took a really good look at her. She looked like her mother but someone else face too. Her hair just like her mother but a little bit darker, pouty lips and everything. I told her she was beautiful"
She came. She came to show me her daughter. The one she denied from me to meet, she came.
"Are you ok miss Robyn?" John asked. I open my mouth to talk but nothing came out. I close it again. After a couple of more try to say something and john looking at me like i was going crazy one thing left my lips.
