All of the Lights

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"And I hear you are working on a lot of different projects as a follow up to your wildly successful debut film." The woman interviewing asks me.

I look at the cameras and then back at her.

"Yes. I have multiple scripts I am considering and more being sent to me every day. I will have a follow-up coming out before you know it." I say, forcing a smile.

The audience claps.

"Great! Just one more question before you go. Is there a man in your life? We've made rumors for weeks about you and your friend, Kenny, but is there anything concrete going on?" She asks.

The audience whistles.

I force another smile and even a fake laugh. "No. Im way too busy for that. Im focusing on my work now. One day I will get back into all of that, but Im just keeping to myself nowadays." I say, leaving it at that.

"I can respect that. We cannot wait for your next movie. Congratulations and thank you so much for coming on the show. Esmeralda Anderson, everybody!" She says, willing the audience to clap for me.

I stand up and hug her. I wave to the audience as they applaud me as I am walking out. My fake smile drops and I walk to the Jag. Ryan hangs up his phone as he gets in the backseat with me.

"Barbara Walters wants an interview." He says.

"Ok." I say simply.

"Esme, Barbara Walters is a great catch. We need to capitalize on it." He explains, scratching off something on his calendar.

"I said ok." I say, looking out the window.

"Oh sorry. Im so used to you disagreeing with me." He says, motioning for the driver to take me to my photoshoot.

"You're usually wrong." I say, blandly.

"Hey, what's wrong?" He asks, touching my shoulder.

"Nothing." I say, staring out the window.

"If you're not up for this, we can always reschedule." He says.

"No, let's get this over with." I say.

"All of this media bullshit can be put on the back burner, I just want you to be okay." He says, taking off his bluetooth headset.

"Ryan I am fine. I dont need your sentiment." I say, laying my head on the window.

He sighs and puts his bluetooth back in his ear.

The flashes of the cameras feel like they are going to blind me one day, but I continue to stare. All of the feeling going out of my body and it shows on my face.

"I need more happy! Smile, Esmeralda!" The photographer yells.

I put on my best fake smile and he sighs.

"You call that a smile? Break!" He yells.

I pick up my couture gown and drag it with me off the set and back into the makeup chair. The photographer comes back over to my chair and rubs his temples.

"If you are not feeling well then we have medicine or maybe you need sleep, yes?" He asks, wondering what is wrong with me.

"Yeah. Whatever." I say, looking over at Ryan.

"We will try one more time. Then we are done, okay?" He asks.

"Sure." I say, rubbing my neck.

Ryan thanks the photographer as he walks over to me in the makeup chair.

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