One Shots

This Is How It Goes (galex)

the title is one of my fave billy talent songs btw lmao

also, for anyone who doesn't know, this is a ship between Gabe Barham and Alex Howard because otp

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Alex's POV

It's 11:30 pm. I'm sitting at home, in bed, wondering why I'm up so late when I told myself I would go to bed early. Maybe it's because of the three mugs of coffee I drank, or maybe it's because of work, or maybe it's because my phone is sitting open in my hands, with Gabe's contact information illuminating the screen.

I never got the courage to delete it all. I bet he's already deleted mine. It's been a month of constantly avoiding each other, all because I screwed up. I tried to make everything right again, I tried so hard, but I guess Gabe couldn't do it. It all just ended so suddenly. I let who I thought was the love of my life slip through my  fingers.

Subconsciously, my finger taps the send message button. A new conversation with 'Horse Boy' pops up. Why am I even here? If I typed something, anything, I doubt he'd answer. Or even read it.

I sigh, considering shutting off my phone and going to bed, but I find my fingers already on the keypad of my iPhone. Without really thinking much about it, I start typing.

"Gabe,

You probably don't want anything to do with me. And that's okay. I didn't really want anything to do with you for the first two weeks, in all honesty. I blamed you, when in reality, we are both to blame.

I'm sorry this is such a mess. Hopefully you're learning to move on by now, like I should as well. The problem is, I still love you.

I just have to say it. I love you Gabe. I love how you laughed and almost choked on your pancakes at breakfast, I loved seeing you run around the yard with your dog. I love how sweet you can be and how how hilarious. I miss holding your hand across the table at date nights, and I miss the late night drum solos you'd put on sometimes. Remember that time you found a paint bucket in the garage and we had a paint war? I loved that. Remember the time I found a huge seashell on the beach, but you accidentally broke it by sitting on it? I still loved you after that. Remember all our cute couple costumes for Halloween? Yeah, even though they sometimes were cheesy, I still loved them.

I love you for you and I'm hoping you loved me just as I you. I'm so sorry. You were and still are the love of my life and I let it all go to shit. I guess this is how it goes.

I'll try to move on. You try too okay? I want what's best for you. I need you to be the happiest man on Earth alright? Good.

Love you lots."

It's 12:00 am. And all I do is backspace the message and turn off my iPhone.