I just wanted to take a moment to say that this picture of Jorel, is just so fucking adorable! I'm not trying to be weird! I swear! Moving on...
********************************************
"You're a fucking disgrace! You useless piece of shit!"
"You should never have been born, you slut!"
"Go slit you're wrists and die in a hole!"
"Mom, dad! Please-"
*WHAP*
"SHUT YOUR GOD DAMN WHORE MOUTH!"
*SMASH* This time my face hit a table.
"You see Y/N, this shit that you've been through, ain't gonna leave you."
"Follow us, we'll show you what you're destined for."
The next thing I knew, I was spinning. Then floating. Floating in grey clouds. It was bliss. Abruptly, I started flying downwards. Spiralling, sort of like a skydiver. Adrenaline and fear coursed through my veins at the same time.
Seven people are slowly starting appearing in the horizon. As I got closer, I realized it was me, and the six guys. I tried to hear what was being said, it was impossible. So I stuck to posture and hand gestures.
It looks like I'm being yelled at. By all of them. And I'm shaking, trying to defend myself through my tears, trying to get my point across. But it's not working, instead, I get slapped by Jorel.
They start walking away. One by one.
Now I can hear myself.
"No.. Please don't leave me!" *sob* "I need you guys!... I can change..."
Danny was the last to leave.
"Danny.. Please understand.. I didn't mean any of it..."
He just shook his head in disgust and disappointment, turned around, and walked away.
"Now you see? Y/N? You're destined for loss, disappointment, and hurt."
"Come with us, Y/N, we can save you from all this."
"...no.. Never.."
"Suit yourself."
"But remember, we're all you can really trust."
Everything started slowly fading away.
"Y/N! Y/N! Wake up! It's just a bad dream."
I closed my eyes from the sudden bright light. Relief flooded through me. I'm back in my room. I mean Matts. So the person reassuring me right now and rubbing my back, trying to sooth my rackety sobbing, is Matt.
"Same nightmare again?"
"Yes.." I breathed out. He made a sympathetic noise and hugged me.
"I swear it's not gonna come true. You aren't gonna be able to get rid of us that easily," he smiled, "and no matter what, we'd never leave you like that."
I sighed.
This exact nightmare has been haunting my dreams for the past week. Honestly, it feels so real. It makes me wonder all day about the thing that I did bad enough to cause them to leave me.
Every night, every morning, Matt takes his time to wake me up, to reassure me, and to calm me down. He tells me it doesn't bother him, but my anxiety makes me feel like it does.
"I'm going to the bathroom.." I said as I got up, grabbed some clothes with my knife, and headed to the bathroom.
I sank to the floor when I close the door. After I pulled my sleeve up, I placed three new cuts.
"Shit..." I hissed.
I made one too deep. Fuck it.. I'll just hold some toilet paper on it for a bit.
When I was sure the bleeding stopped, I made my way down to the kitchen.
What I didn't see coming, was a giant group hug ambushing me as soon as I set foot in the kitchen.
"Yo Y/N, we got you're favourite food for ya." Dylan announced.
"Yeah! And we got lots of it!" Jorel cheered. He's really warmed up to me in he past few days. I guess all it really was, was that he had to give up his room for me, and he didn't want to.
I cringed at the thought of food.
"Sorry guys.. I'm not too hungry right now.."
"Oh it's all good!" Danny smiled.
"Yeah, you can just have it later, when you're hungry." Jordan agreed.
I smiled at them. They're so nice to me. I'd probably be dead by now if they didn't find me.
"Let's go watch a movie! I'll make the popcorn!" I announced.
"Okay!" Everyone yelled at the same time.
After they all ran to the living room, I grabbed the popcorn and put it in the microwave.
I cringed in pain as my wrist connected with the corner of the table.
"Woah, what was that?" A voice questioned.
I turned to see Jorel. He grabbed the arm I was rubbing, unknowingly squeezing other cuts, causing me to cringe again.
Realization lit in his eyes. He pulled up my sleeve and gasped. I gasped too, out of surprise of him and to see that when I hit my arm on the table, the deep one started pouring blood.
"Shit.. GUYS! GET IN HERE RIGHT NOW!" Jorel sounded scared, really scared.
"What is it?" Everyone sounded curious.
But when they saw my arm, their eyes went wide. They all looked shocked. Jorel then put his hand on my wrist, attempting to slow the bleeding.
"I'll get some towels." George volunteered.
"I'll help." Said Jordan.
"And I'll get some butterfly bandages. Danny come help me, since you cleaned the place and changed everything." Laughed Dylan.
That left me, Jorel and Matt alone.
I looked at the ground in shame, watching the small pool my blood quickly formed.
"Hey, it's okay." Jorel gently lifted my chin up with his free hand, so that I was looking into his eyes.
I quickly broke the gaze, before he saw all my pain.
"I should have known... I share the same room as you, dammit! I should have known that something was up when you always slept in a long sleeved shirt.."
"We all should have known." Jorel shook his head.
I laughed, "the only way you would have known, is if something like this happened, or if I told you. I'm really good at hiding things."
They both shook their heads, sighed, and wrapped their arms tightly around me.
"We found it all!" A victorious voice boomed from the second floor, probably Jordan.
The three of us laughed at his accomplishment.
The four men swarmed down the stairs towards us like a bunch of flies.
"Okay, now what?" Asked Jordan.
George smacked him upside the head. "Now we stop the bleeding, dumbass!"
Jordan shot a glare at George and rubbed the back of his head where George had hit him.
"Hand me the towels." Demanded Matt.
They did as he said and he gently, well as gently as you can, put pressure on my wrist.
A few moments of silence passed. "I think it's done bleeding guys." I moved one of Matts fingers. "Yep, it is." I reported.
"Okay, Danny or whoever has the butterfly bandages, pass them here." Said Matt.
That they did. Once bandages were placed on, all of us let out breath of relief.
"We're all gonna have a long chat about this mister/missy." George faked a fatherly voice.
"Ha. Yeah. Right." Dylan replied, then faced me. "But, really, if you're feeling down you really should talk to one of us, or all of us. What ever you prefer."
"Yeah, okay." I answered.
"You promise?" They all asked at once.
"Hahah, yeah, I promise." I smiled.
